A Land Rover Lament

**Sleepy** · 10th September 2008, 10:37 AM

With apologies to Banjo Paterson

-----------------------------------

'Twas Solihull in Eng-a-land that started the landy craze;
They based it on the good ol’ jeep that served in darker days;
They dressed her up in ex war paint, a splash of cockpit green;
They connected ploughs and welders to their shiny new machine;
And as they drove it out the door, with air of lordly pride,
A grinning English farmer said, `Can I take it for a drive?'

`See, here, young man,' said Solihull, `from Worcester to the sea,
From Stoke-on-Trent to Exeter, there's none can drive like she.
She’s good all round at everything, as soon you all will know,
Although with all that gear on board – She is a little slow

Her seats were trimmed in elephant hide.
She's made of ally mixed with steel,
There’s even a little ring to pull for driving all four wheels,
He had a sit, held the wheel, but before he drove from sight.
A little man called Lucas yelled – “Please don’t drive at night!”

From Solihull in Eng-a-land, he drove his eighty-inch
He drove across a swollen creek, then up a steepish pinch.
He drove her down slippery hill – ‘ been raining all the day
A smile had stretched across his face as wide as Plymouth Bay.
He found a track, with lots of trees, so steep he nearly laughed
Bounced his way on up the road then – CRACK – he broke a shaft.

So think about that farmer when you’re feeling blue
Or when the door wont open ‘cos you’ve blown your ECU
That rusty project vehicle that’s sitting in the yard.
Or the pile of money spent that’s making life so hard
Don’t think of driving to a cliff and giving her a shove
Your Land Rovers will always be a labour of love!

**Shonky** · 10th September 2008, 10:47 AM

Amen!

**Sleepy** · 10th September 2008, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Numpty's Missus

Can we have the "Land Rover" National Anthem next please Sleepy?

I did that one

I can see.......... Stars !

Try this one - Sung to the tune of AC/DC T.N.T.

__________________________________________

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi

See me ride out of the sunset
With my colour DVD
Out for all that I can buy
If you know what I mean
Defenders to the left of me
And Rangies to the right
Just fitted a winch
And a hi-lift jack
And everything’s alright

CHORUS:
I’ve got a …

Disco 3. It’s feeling right
Disco 3. It’s got lots of lights
Disco 3, Like the dealer showed
Disco 3, It runs on binary code

It not dirty, you’ve seen, looks like a washing machine
Or a big tin can.
Fuel economy’s not that great,
It cost me 60 grand
So forget your Defender
I can’t get into strife
Forget your Range Rover
And lend me your wife
I know you’re all jealous of me
In my Discovery

CHORUS
Disco 3. Oi, oi, oi
Disco 3. Oi, oi, oi
Disco 3. Oi, oi, oi
Disco 3. Oi, oi, oi
Disco 3. Oi
I know I’m right (oi, oi)
Disco 3. Oi,
All the rest are 5HITE
Disco 3, like the dealer showed
Disco 3, it talks in binary code

--------------------------------------------------

By Weird Al Sleepovich

**Shonky** · 10th September 2008, 01:17 PM

***thunderous applause***

VERY CLEVER MEESTA SLEEP!

**Sleepy** · 10th September 2008, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by Numpty's Missus

Yeah...but we I'm sure some members are afraid of venturing into the stars thread...in case the idiocy rubs off or something

What dya mean hasn't effected me

Ok re-post

____________________________________________

Aulroians all let us rejoice
He bought a Series 3

He soiled the drive with dripping oil
His love of dirt is free

His landy bounds due 3 inch lift
It leaks, he does not care

He really should have bought a rangie
and cut his bloody hair

He really should have bought a rangie
and cut his long grey hair

and the rarely heard second verse:

Beneath his Series 3 gearbox
We'll toil with hearts and hands,

To make his PTO engage
To winch another Land.......y,

For those who've come across a 3
We've boundless pains to share,

You really should buy a rangie
And cut your long grey hair

You really should buy a rangie
And cut your bloody hair

-----------------------------------------------------

I got more - I should be working I s'pose

**Sleepy** · 10th September 2008, 03:25 PM

Now you've got me started...

Birmabright Rapsody

I’m now in real strife -
Can’t bear to tell the wife -
Just bought a Landy -
No escape to the shed again-
I can’t be shy
Face up to the wife and see-
I bought a new toy, I’ll get no sympathy-
Because I spent a sum, doesn’t go,
Shouldn’t lie, she will know,
And it aint got windows, doesn’t really matter to me,
To me

I know, I’ll hide in the can,
Then I’ll sneak out to the shed
If she finds me then I’m dead

Honey, I know that’s what I said
But you can’t expect to have it towed away

Honey, ooo,
I know that we’ll get by-
I’ll find a better job this time tomorrow
Don’t Carry on, Carry on….don’t throw that it’ll shatter

Too late, my time has come,
I’m sure I’ve got a spine
But I ’m running out of time

Goodbye everybody-Ive got to go-
Gotta sneak in from behind and face the truth-

Honey ooo- ( aint got windows)
Take it for a drive,
But don’t forget to take your favourite shawl-

I see a little silhouetto of a Landy,
Safari-roof, Safari-roof, it started with a bang-oh-
Mr Lucas lighting-isn’t very brightening -see-
It won’t go, it won’t go,
Oh bugger it won’t go
Please bloody goooooo

But it’s just my new toy and she doesn’t love me-
It’s just his new toy – not much rust you can see
Scared of his wife and the mess that she’ll see-

Series 1, will not go-,will not bloody go-
British car! no-,it’ll never bloody go-please please go-
British car! no-,it’ll never bloody go-please please go-
British car! no-,it’ll never bloody go-please please go-
Will never ever ever ever gooooooooooo

Cant you see, Cant you see, Cant you see she’ll never go-
Spencer Wilkes has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

I thought I could buy you and take you for a drive-
Now I’m begging her just to survive
Oh Landy -cant do this to me Landy-
Just jumped out-just jumped right outta gear-

Nothing really matters,
Guess what I’ve just seen,
Another Series 1 -, another Series 1 for me.

And it just got 1 bid………

---------------------------------------------------

Sorry Freddie

**Shonky** · 10th September 2008, 03:48 PM

GOLD!

We could create a "Little Book of Green-Oval Campfire Songs"!

Proceeds to AULRO, and comes with a voucher for a case of beer... so it sounds better when 20 grown men sing this in the bush and play air guitar!

I now dub thee, Sleepy - Official minstral by appointment to AULRO.com

Keep 'em coming!

**Shonky** · 10th September 2008, 03:50 PM

Oh, and can I point out that this is the most intelligent thing ever to be borne of the "Stars thread"?

...by like, a trillion to the power of a billion!

**101RRS** · 10th September 2008, 07:32 PM

Our Father
Who Art In Solihull
Land Rovering Be Thy Name
To The Tracks We Come
Thy Maintenance Is Done
In Garages As In On The Tracks
Give Us Our Daily Drive
And Forgive Us Our Trespasses
As We Forgive Who Seek To Ban Us
Lead Us Not Into Illegal Closures
But Deliver Us From The Greenies
For Thine Is The Clearance
The Articulation
And The Traction Forever
Amen

**Sleepy** · 10th September 2008, 09:02 PM

Pretty Landy, drivin’ down the street
Pretty Landy, love those leather seats
Pretty Landy
It’s only built just to cruise
It’s a Freelander twoooooo

Mercy

Pretty Landy, with Harman Kardon gear
Pretty Landy, Not sure I like the rear
Pretty Landy, as nice as whiskey on the rocks
Although I’d like a transfer box

Wwrwrow

Pretty Landy, lot’s of style
Pretty Landy, comes in colours like “Argyll”
Pretty Landy, drive a statute mile to me
Pretty Landy, yeah, yeah, yeah
Pretty Landy, doesn’t sway
Pretty Landy, comes with alloy wheels …for free

'Cause I see you, you’re turning right
But please don’t forget the traffic light

Mercy

Pretty Landy, now you’ve made me cry
Pretty Landy, did anybody die?
Pretty Landy, can’t even drive away, ...okay?

You failed to give the right of way, …okay
I guess you’ve got a crumple zone, that's great

Not a pleasant sight, but wait
What do I see?

Not a 1 or 2 but a 3
Yeah, a new Dis-cov-er-y

Oh, oh, Pretty Landy

______________________________

Sorry Roy

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