Drunk

Dobbo, shut up!

Seven years ago I knocked back a job with the company that took over the work I was doing in Telstra. I was offered a lot of money to stay. I couldn't. I left and took a job that paid 1/3rd as much.

I was having weekly counselling sessions for depression in the last year or so of working with Telstra. My boss didn't understand and his view was a lot like Dobbo's. He gave no support to me at all. He just said to go and buy more toys.

Changing jobs made a big difference but caused other stress in that I had trouble coming to terms with not having enough work to do.

It seems, from Dobbo's post, that he has no idea of what it's like to be suffering from clinical depression. I couldn't do anything useful at home. I had no will to do it. Once I got home from work, I was stuffed.

I've never admitted this on a public forum before and am embarrassed to do so but Dobbo's remarks have made it necessary.

I can't say I'm fully recovered but I haven't been on Zoloft for years. I still have trouble getting stuff done. I make plans but they don't eventuate.

That, in itself, is very depressing. My wife has been an enormous prop for me.

I haven't checked out the Beyond Blue help as I don't think I need it any more. I could be wrong.

So Dobbo, I reiterate - Shut up!

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Originally Posted by p38arover

... no idea of what it's like to be suffering from clinical depression. I couldn't do anything useful at home. I had no will to do it. Once I got home from work, I was stuffed.

</snip>

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And this is the whole thing. People who haven't had to live with clinical depression don't possess the understanding of why one cannot simply "get on with life" or "pull themselves together". It is not physically possible when almost catatonic with misery.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by p38arover

My wife has been an enormous prop for me.

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Try and make sure you make that Perth trip with her mate.

Some of us are born thinking the glass is half full, some us are born thinking the glass is half empty.

I struggled for years with people who have the 'half full' nature, who kept telling me to 'buck up'. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself, 'get you act together', it didn't work. Eventually, thinking I was the only person who thought the way I did, and that I was a complete failure, I got help. Or rather help came to me.

So if you really in your heart try to change your mood and just can't, don't listen to morons who tell you to buck up as if it was easy as flicking on a light switch. Tell 'em to buck off.

Getting help is not easy. Alcohol is not the answer - and I don't wish to sound like a puritan saying that. Nothing pure about me. You may wish to attend an AA meeting just to see if that is a path you need to travel.

It sounds like you are trying to find a solution to your problems - and that is a good thing - don't give up. Not doing so ends up being a well of self-pity, a useless place from where no-one can move. Self pity is like quicksand, all absorbing. Sometimes you need to be there for a while, but trust me, it's a place where nothing changes and you'll find you have to move on out of there. Don't be shy to grab a rope to pull you out if it's offered. Any rope is worth a try, until you find one that works for you. AA, God, exercise, good food, or all of the above or only one. Try it all untill you find a pair of shoes that fit you.

There is an attitude that blokes are not meant to have emotions, let alone show 'em - I have seen more courage in this thread than I have seen elsewhere in such a public domain. Good on you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 4X4V8

Some of us are born thinking the glass is half full, some us are born thinking the glass is half empty.

I struggled for years with people who have the 'half full' nature, who kept telling me to 'buck up'. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself, 'get you act together', it didn't work. Eventually, thinking I was the only person who thought the way I did, and that I was a complete failure, I got help. Or rather help came to me.

So if you really in your heart try to change your mood and just can't, don't listen to morons who tell you to buck up as if it was easy as flicking on a light switch. Tell 'em to buck off.

Getting help is not easy. Alcohol is not the answer - and I don't wish to sound like a puritan saying that. Nothing pure about me. You may wish to attend an AA meeting just to see if that is a path you need to travel.

It sounds like you are trying to find a solution to your problems - and that is a good thing - don't give up. Not doing so ends up being a well of self-pity, a useless place from where no-one can move. Self pity is like quicksand, all absorbing. Sometimes you need to be there for a while, but trust me, it's a place where nothing changes and you'll find you have to move on out of there. Don't be shy to grab a rope to pull you out if it's offered. Any rope is worth a try, until you find one that works for you. AA, God, exercise, good food, or all of the above or only one. Try it all untill you find a pair of shoes that fit you.

There is an attitude that blokes are not meant to have emotions, let alone show 'em - I have seen more courage in this thread than I have seen elsewhere in such a public domain. Good on you.

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Thanks for the post mate, food for thought;)

Hi Guys , Again thanks for the support and your own private stories . I've noticed a couple of you guys were or are taking Zoloft . Never heard of it ! I'm on Lexapro 40mg a day . I'm also taking multi vitamin tablets and they are both getting me back on top of my game . Just yesterday we went for a drive and we got talking about things and after awhile my wife said to me " welcome back " . Now that is the best thing i have heard in months and even brought a tear to the eye as i thought i would never be me again .

Well Mick it seems you have a lot of support from this bunch.
Someone once told me you only need four simple things in life to be truly happy :
Someone to love, someone to love you, something to do, and something to look forward to.
Whenever I feel down I think of that saying, and funnily enough it helps. Luckily I have all four right now, but there have been times when I have had none of them. So what I did was work towards getting them, one by one. You'll probably find working towards those helps with the financial situation too, because you have a clearer head to manage your way out of it.
Hang in there mate and keep talking about it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by p38arover

Dobbo, shut up!

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well IMHO......i think your being a little unfair here.

as dobbo does have some very vaild points! and although i have never personally suffered with depression, i have had a few members of my family that have had including nervous break downs...and a very close friend that suffered badly (tried to top her self 4/5 times and is still trying)

yes everyone that has an alternate opinion to dobbo, also do have very good points..just like dobbo has. I believe what dobbo is saying some points that are very constructive, and i would also say similar myself....BUT maybe not for this particular situation.

and thats why i think he and others have very constructive points becasue not everyone is depressed in the same way, its not as cut and dry as that.....it's horses for course what might help to motivate one person may not work helping to motivate another.

So i dont believe people should be quick to slam others down that have this particular view......because not only are we asking for another argument with the differences of opinion, but who's to say the way his friend delt with his depression wont work! If you have had depression or a friend has doesn't make you an expert, just merely makes you someone with experience.

If depressions was that well understood there wouldn't be a big problem with it. so there is no one way of dealing with it

Guys,
It is a serious issue with more than 1 in 4 suffering some sort of depression.
I have not had it bad but went through mild depression a few years ago when I had a job change forced on me after being shafted. Ended up being the best thing in the world for me as now I love my job, but was hard at the time. I am a bit like a Bulldozer and after a bit of self pity just pushed on hard. Not everyone can do this and a lot need help, so if you can get help or give help to those you can help. The consequences can be life changing either way. I have personally had to deal with people on the edge through to psychotic as part of my job and it can be frightening, but it is like any other disease and my job is to help where I can and I always wish the best for people even if I have been threatened by them.

There has been some frank and honest discussion here. I for one appreciate this type of discussion and it would have been really hard for some of you to be upfront and honest like this.
We are a big family and I for one am happy to talk if people need help or just a kind word. Always know that most of the AULRO family are here for you.

For those that have nothing constructive or positive to say and want to take a higher than though attitude, please back away from this discussion as it is not about you, but about the person reaching out for help.

Cheers
CraigE