Thread: teenagers

gracesdad, do your kids work? how do they pay for the grog and phone bills? if they work are you making them pay board? you made a statement about national service you can't rely on the army or govermant to make men out of them, if thats what you want then make them pull there weight around the house and be respectfull to you and your wife and if they don't like it then they can find other accomidation, it's time for your boys to HTFU and take some responsibility, to me it sounds like you are to soft on them they want like it and they will carry on like little girls but to bad you have a responsability as a parent to make men out of them and not continue as boys into adulthood. this is a fairly confronting message and I sincerly do not mean to affend but understand if you feel that way.

Originally Posted by Newbs-IIA

hahaha cheers mate, it's a great car 202 and 3-on-the-tree manual - gives me no problems, drove 5 bloke to school and back every day last year through peek hour and didn't even notice. Just rolled over 400,000kms and drives like it has done less than 100k couldn't speak more highly of a car

Would have liked a V8 though would have got a V8 kingy straight up if it wasnt for that law too...

Mine was a column shift tri-matic but I converted it to a manual with a 5 speed celica box, among many other mods.

I smoked drugs and drank at 12, first leg at 15 and dabbled with many unhealthy habits, I still smoke when i drink and drink regularly....somewhat heavily some say, but always have a rational mind

I've seen some horrendous things, from other peoples doings, whilst, drunk or drugged and CHOOSE not to behave in an irrational manor, even when in these states

All in all, its made me who I am today, I also grew up in a supportive, decent home environment, never had an excuse, just a curious mind

Some people just go there own way, thankfully, I chose to do it sensibly

Well, kinda



Oh yea, I'm 25 going on 43

I hesitated a bit to add to this thread - I am a bit past dealing with teenagers, although I will have a teenage grand daughter in two years! But we raised two boys. Both managed to survive their teenage years without very major problems, although the results were different.

The older one was, and still is a reasonably frequent and worryingly heavy drinker, and I know he used drugs as a teenage, although I do not believe he has since. Married, steady job, owns house. Smoked from early teens to about thirty. Sex, pretty certain started about 16, sequence of girlfriends. Very much a party animal. University graduate, but not in anything very useful.

The younger one, got drunk as a young teen - once! Decided he would never do that again, and as far as I know never has. Drinks, but very rarely. Started smoking about twelve, stopped when he was thirteen or fourteen. First girlfriend when he was 16, married her when he was 20, been married for sixteen years, three kids, lost another one shortly after birth. Own home, steady job. Despite brain damage resulting in attending special education school, completed university and is a librarian.

We were always very open with the boys and they discussed anything with us. Older one when he came home from a party (after he had his own car mostly) would come into our bedroom to tell us what he had been up to - which could be a pain at 3am on a workday, although mostly it was a Saturday or Sunday, but this is the sort of thing that kept communication open!

In my own case, I was a teenager in the fifties - a very different world compared to today. Although my parents were relatively well off, they had gone through the depression, and were very careful with money. Another difference compared to most, is that I am a twin, so we always had company and made much of our own entertainment.

John

Originally Posted by JDNSW

We were always very open with the boys and they discussed anything with us. Older one when he came home from a party (after he had his own car mostly) would come into our bedroom to tell us what he had been up to - which could be a pain at 3am on a workday, although mostly it was a Saturday or Sunday, but this is the sort of thing that kept communication open!

John

^^ THIS ^^
This is the most important thing in helping prevent teens from going to far off the rails.

To the OP who started this thread:
You can keep crapping on about how your a model teenager who doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs and hates modern music and how you think you have good advice for parents about telling them how to handle their teen's financial situation blah blah blah snore...sleep. The most important thing, for any teenager (whether they realise it or not) is to have an open dialogue with their parents. Talking to your teens with respect (sometimes parents need to earn a little respect as much as their kids do; parents can't just demand it) is the best thing you can do...when teens respect their parents it's easier to respect what they say and what rules they have.

I mean, bloody fell. I'd be dissapointed if my teenage kids went through their teen years without getting drunk at a raving party at least a few times. Teens need this. It's all part of life's lesson. Sure, there is far more to being a teen than partying, shagging (I'm still kicking myself for not doing more of this while in school), getting high etc but it's all part of growing up. If my kids decide not to do any of it, then fine, but I'm not going to restrict them and say "No means no!" to the point that they lose respect for me. If they go and get ****ed, sure, I want to know about it, but it doesn't mean I'll be angry. If they decide (when they are a bit older) that they are going to start having sex then fine. So long as they keep it clean and safe. I'd rather know about it than have my kids so afraid of talking to me that they don't even know what to do.

Long story short, OP, please stop going on and on...
PS: 100 bucks says you'll have hardly any interesting life stories to tell later in life if you keep living in a bubble.

the end.

Originally Posted by subasurf

^^ THIS ^^
This is the most important thing in helping prevent teens from going to far off the rails.

To the OP who started this thread:
You can keep crapping on about how your a model teenager who doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs and hates modern music and how you think you have good advice for parents about telling them how to handle their teen's financial situation blah blah blah snore...sleep. The most important thing, for any teenager (whether they realise it or not) is to have an open dialogue with their parents. Talking to your teens with respect (sometimes parents need to earn a little respect as much as their kids do; parents can't just demand it) is the best thing you can do...when teens respect their parents it's easier to respect what they say and what rules they have.

I mean, bloody fell. I'd be dissapointed if my teenage kids went through their teen years without getting drunk at a raving party at least a few times. Teens need this. It's all part of life's lesson. Sure, there is far more to being a teen than partying, shagging (I'm still kicking myself for not doing more of this while in school), getting high etc but it's all part of growing up. If my kids decide not to do any of it, then fine, but I'm not going to restrict them and say "No means no!" to the point that they lose respect for me. If they go and get ****ed, sure, I want to know about it, but it doesn't mean I'll be angry. If they decide (when they are a bit older) that they are going to start having sex then fine. So long as they keep it clean and safe. I'd rather know about it than have my kids so afraid of talking to me that they don't even know what to do.

Long story short, OP, please stop going on and on...
PS: 100 bucks says you'll have hardly any interesting life stories to tell later in life if you keep living in a bubble.

the end.

Wow

I have to agree, I told my father what I was doing, generally when I'd done it, he knew I was smoking drugs, and drinking, probably not to the extent I was, but still, it was good being able to talk openlyish about it, gave me alot more rational thinking about it all

Could he of stopped it? hell no

But knowing there was always someone there if it turned to ****, was much better than being scared of something going bad and relying on someone who shouldn't

I wouldn;t flame the boy for being proud of being sensible, good on him

But I wouldn;t disregard all those that choose to do these things as sometimes they grow to be good people

And well, yea, I got alot of "interesting" stories from doing bad stuff, some are definately not to be proud of, but still, entertaining none the less



Ironic thing was, I NEVER smoked a cigarette infront of my old man, till my 18th Birthday, I always said I'd pull a cone infront of him when I was young before smoking cigarettes infront of him, the ONLY thing he said not to do was smoke.....but I did it anyway

I've never discussed what I do/have done with my parents. It is not because there has been a lack of openness or communication. I've just never said and they've never pressed me.

I prefer it this way. I'd sooner die if they knew about some things.

Originally Posted by B92 8NW

I've never discussed what I do/have done with my parents. It is not because there has been a lack of openness or communication. I've just never said and they've never pressed me.

That's totally fine, so long as the option was always there. So many parents these days don't leave the door open for kids to talk to them in a safe environment.