An upmarket Urban Zombie Apocalypse Escape vehicle for those frustrated macho types wanted to rediscover their lost manhood and escape their modern day white enslavement in style. This is the old range rover sports, not that new sissy 'range rover" Barbie pyjama party disco special that they just released late last year. This huge car runs a chill down the spine of any person who comes face to face with it at a pedestrian crossing as the 2.7 Ton salute to masculinity comes to a grinding halt in no time saving you from meeting your Creator
Used for last few years as a rapid response asset for the delivery & evacuation of feral spoiled kids from schools and soccer matches here in Truman show eastern suburbs of Sydney, it is time that I say good bye to the car that was never used to bush bash in National Parks and running over cute but rare endangered marsupials along illegal paths, nor was it used in a crossing a flooding river in wet season in far north QLD to escape a bunch of rednecks chasing a urban yuppie out of their town. Well that what I conjured up in my excited imagination when I was buying the car brand new in the showroom instead I think its seen a 200m manicured gravel track or two while driving up to my friends sprawling Southern Highlands estate. 
The sales pitches in these internet ads will usually state that the car is in "immaculate condition" implying that it was stored in a climate controlled underground salt cave, daily washed with Scandanavian glacier water and looked after by a team of ex-nasa rocket engineers 24/7. Yes it was driven in the City and stuck 90% in traffic, no, it did not feature in a bruce willis car escape scene or used to race against over-excited teenagers from middle eastern backgrounds in Wrx's. Yes there are a few very minor claw marks on the bonnet and no, the car has never been keyed by an ex-lover in a jealous rage that she no longer travels in the Beast.
This car is not for a Greenie type of buyer hence its 2 green stars. Though it does not chew the Juice that badly, as its a diesel. If you are worried about that you should get a Prius or an electric bike mate. Its also not for the conservative Family types who sing Christian love songs while all driving together to a Hillsong Sunday concert. Think Honda Odessy or Prado. Nor is it for the wanna be pole dancer Cougars wearing over sized Chanel glasses filling up this Diesel Machine with unleaded petrol 95. Stick to driving a Range Rover Evoque to your next botox appointment. This is the last of the old school
Who is this car for?
Think Chuck Norris in designer $1000 tracksuit with a few middle aged wealthy mates in the back, tearing outwards on the City's fringes on the freeway into the sunset with a esky full of craft beer and imported cider with the only food they eat all weekend is BBQ 100 day aged angus sirloin. No vegetables and tofu here my friend just smiles and happiness. This is a real mans car,not some pimped out pope mobile cruising on Oxford St. Plenty of storage for your camping gear, your cross bows, guns, golf gear and the infamous Bunnings shopping trips when the boundaries of storage are really tested by your compulsive male hardware rampage. The roof of the car is ready stacked high with downhill mountain bikes while towing a 24ft off-shore fishing boat towards 48 hours of freedom from their wives and partners. 
Just think of all the envy you conjure up from mates as they witness photos of yourself posing in front of the car with the trophy of biggest kill to date of a docile and defence less animal and tell of the success stories of meeting and spreading your DNA with local young country woman who just wanted to talk to you because you were driving this Big Blue British Beast while you had a 100 kg wild pig hog tied to the roof racks. This car is now available to passed onto the next caretaker who wants to live out their dreams so why wait? As time you cannot buy, but dreams you can!
			
		
 
	
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