Re the steering arms that will not budge a few posts back... You need a decent length of timber, and a decent hammer (and be accurate with it). Place the timber (or big bar) between the two track rods, as close to the joint as you can. Using the length of timber (or bar) press down on the end.. This will put a lot of downward force on the joint you are trying to remove. Make sure the nut is loose but still in place so that it does not fly apart. Once loaded up, then strike the end of the arm that the joint is stuck in hard. Do it hard enough first time and the taper holding the ball joint in the housing will let go. If not, hit it again! 
Re the relay, find a piece of tube that sits up under its bottom, and can reach the ground (or a jack). Put the weight of the chassis on the base of the relay, place hardwood blocks over the top of the relay that bridges it so you are hitting the chassis surrounding the relay and not the relay itself. Find a sledge hammer and again, HIT IT!
Word of warning here... Once you have removed the relay, do not be tempted to remove the 4 bolts on the top.. From memory, there's a big spring in there that'll go off with a bang if you do. Good luck, and just keep soaking stuff with WD40.
1995 Mercedes 1222A 4x4
1969 (Now know! Thanks Diana!!) Ser 2 Tdi SWB
1991 VW Citi Golf Cti (soon to be Tdi)
'When there's smoke, there's plenty of poke!!'
'The more the smoke, the more the poke!!'
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