How are you ruining them by undoing them? The only way I could think that would happen is an incorrect fitting socket?
Yes, the lug nut has two parts - but the chrome tin outer casing remains in place and is not removed.
Get a proper fitting single hex socket (I think 27mm is the correct size) and an extension bar and you shouldn’t have an issue removing them.
I have found on my Dads MY98 D1 that 6 of the nuts were slightly larger and would get stuck in the socket due to this - but still neither the slightly smaller nor the slightly larger ones were damaged from being undone.
The correct torque spec for tightening them is 130NM. I’ve not experienced and issue with them self tightening - only the opposite of loosening off on our old work 110’s - we used to have to retighten them 50km after changing a wheel.


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