Thread: resume writing

I need your opinions; a bloke I know asked me to write his resume. (Being a writer, I often get these requests).

He wanted something that would 'cut through' and get him the job.

What do y'all think?

As follows:


Mate,

Looks like you gotta job going for a bloke like me.

I'm your guy, now stop mucking around and employ me.

Get on the phone and call me so we can arrange an interview, tomorrow, before lunch, as I have a more important date with a client.

You can come to this lunch but you'll need your credit card.

I'll introduce you to the client, who just may toss several thousand bucks of business my way, and you may benefit.

I was told to never take a beer to a job interview. Taking only one beer is very selfish.
So, at the interview, we'll need two good glasses, as I don't drink beer from a can.

Being the nice guy I am, I'll bring a six pack and you can have three.
(I assume you have a fridge in your office, if not, let me know and I'll bring an Esky).

That should get us ready for lunch. And have my employment contract ready, okay?

I'll work 40 weeks a year for your biz, but I don't work school holidays or weekends.

My hours will be 7am to 1pm Monday to Friday.

From 3pm to 5pm, I'll be available for consultancy, between races.

Now, as for the recompense you offer; frankly, nowhere near enough; up it by 66%.

About the secretary, that's okay with me provided she can pour a beer.

See you tomorrow at 11, don't be late. (And don't forget the glasses).

Lotsaluck (it's a top dog running in the sixth race today, nudge nudge wink wink).

Yours,

Hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=domXumvTVI8


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgj2V...elated&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgiCJ...elated&search=