Thread: Embarrassment

Well i'm pretty sure its over . I haven't been pushing Karen but she feels i am still . . . I will love Karen till my last breath & i will never giveup trying & i am staying posetive ....& i am realy enjoying looking after her & she hates that so much..She does hate me & thinks she is just using my because she needs help but i have never thought that nor will I . . .

Karen says she can not open herself to trust me as i have hurt her to many time before ..& does not belive i will be ok with her going to the gym & thinks i will still be posesive & jelouse . . .

I am a little jelouse about her getting another tattoo as she had or has feelings for the tattooist so there is some jelousy there I would rather her get the dermals she wants instead... I do not have a problem with her calling in at the tattoo shop to say G'day to them all & for a chat .But for now i would prefer her not to get a tattoo only because of her feelings at the moment plus he would be getting to spend even more time with her personal time ,Latter when this blows over fine no probs........
IS THIS SO WRONG OF ME ??????????

I would like Karen to introduce me to her friends at the tattoo shop eventualy so they know who her husband is & mite say G'day to me as well . . .

I actualy like it when Karen goes to the gym she comes home & tells me about it what she did & what machines she use & what they do for her its fun to see Karen excited ...

& i have enjoyed being seen out with Karen even if no one talks to me its just nice to be with her . .. & i'm sure she will introduce me to people soon enough . . .

On another note Karen is looking a bit better & is staying awake for longer each day which is a good sign .. . . .

But i doubt she will trust me again or anything again . . . . .

I keep trying to convince Karen it wont happen again because i now have some friends some older & married who have shown me where i went wrong in being posesive & jelouse where as before i had only done what i had grown up with i spose..Now its been explained to me in terms i can understand..So i know it will be differant now..
Now Karen can't stop worrying about me while i'm at home alone because she has done it for so long ..I would get so bored & lony & by the time Karen came home i was in a cranky mood but now i just jump on here & chat when i need to & i dont need Karen to worry about me cause if i do get bored now i can actualy do something about it even if its just going for a short drive or getting smokes OR i could even just ring one of use for a chat about anything, I just dont ring use to much as i dont want to ring while use are at work or anything like that cause i would hate to cause trouble in any way to your work ? . . . .

Gillie i will be giving you a ring soon even just to say G'day....

Hey Ian are you back at work now after your hospital stay ?

I realy hope Karen & i can work it out but i dont want to push or even for Karen to feel pushed or pressured....

Have i mentioned how much i miss Karen...

Oh & Karen hates the idea of me doing everything as she has done it for so long can't handle it she says..

Also she feels as if she has been a single mum for quiet some time now as she has had to do everything on her own so thats another reason she can't trust me again this time...
























Man i'm starting to feel all wooly as Karen usualy shaves my head with the number 3 foot with the clipers Well its now about 15 to 20 mm long so its weird feeling....

Hi there Banjo, no mate not back to full time work yet.
Mate you can't rebuild trust in five minutes, and pressuring Karen (intentionally or otherwise) will not aid your cause. My feeling is that the best things for you to do at this point in time are;

1. Stop telling Karen how much you love/miss/need her, you're putting the guilts on her. "Goodnight, I love you x." is OK.
2. Do everything you can for Karen, housework, papers/pamphlets, running the kids to and from school and other venues, keep the yard tidy and give Karen some space and privacy.
3. Go and visit Jim, make the effort to meet Kev, run the household errands and drive somewhere new each week, either alone or with Karen and/or the kids.

This will demonstrate to Karen that you are improving, coping and worthy of her trust. Karen does not hate you, regardless of what she says, if she did she wouldn't be concerned about using you or any aspect of your life such as where you would stay, if you have internet access or how you were coping.
Just get Karen better, this will be a good start to building trust.

Originally Posted by banjo

Man i'm starting to feel all wooly as Karen usualy shaves my head with the number 3 foot with the clipers Well its now about 15 to 20 mm long so its weird feeling....

Originally Posted by V8Ian

Hi there Banjo, no mate not back to full time work yet.
Mate you can't rebuild trust in five minutes, and pressuring Karen (intentionally or otherwise) will not aid your cause. My feeling is that the best things for you to do at this point in time are;

1. Stop telling Karen how much you love/miss/need her, you're putting the guilts on her. "Goodnight, I love you x." is OK.
2. Do everything you can for Karen, housework, papers/pamphlets, running the kids to and from school and other venues, keep the yard tidy and give Karen some space and privacy.
3. Go and visit Jim, make the effort to meet Kev, run the household errands and drive somewhere new each week, either alone or with Karen and/or the kids.

This will demonstrate to Karen that you are improving, coping and worthy of her trust. Karen does not hate you, regardless of what she says, if she did she wouldn't be concerned about using you or any aspect of your life such as where you would stay, if you have internet access or how you were coping.
Just get Karen better, this will be a good start to building trust.

I'd agree except:

[2]Do everything you can for Karen that she asks / wants you to do, housework, papers/pamphlets, running the kids to and from school and other venues, keep the yard tidy and give Karen some space and privacy.

Tanks Stuuu, I meant to add that rider.