Thread: Embarrassment

Originally Posted by pirasea

The words of a true champion V8ian! Jason, he's right. We're all with you and will do anything within our powers to help even if you don't hear from us from time to time. Mate, I'd love to call in next time I'm up that way just to meet you and help in any way I can. I'll drop you a line from here beforehand and you can decide if you want me to call in.
cheers Gerald

Anyone from here is welcome to call in at any time use like use would be welcome here ...I don't need to think about any of use calling just call in .if use don't have my number just ask for it i am happy for use to have it or pass it on around this little circle of ours....

Hi Banjo,
I hope this message gets to your forum page and also hopeful you are okay.
Firstly, I am sorry I took so long to get the hang of this website forum as it is not my usual mode of communication.
Banjo, I do really understand your situation regarding your problem in life.
I may not have mentioned to you that I have had some indirect connection to the condition you are in and it is from this experience I have been able to visit you and your family over the years.
My reference above mentioned of my having connections with someone suffering with the same condition you are at the moment having neans that I am referring to time back in 1983 to 1986.
At te time I was in a relationship with a woman who also was suffering from thesame problem you have and although I was aware of her somewhat problematic asppraoches to everyday life, I had no idae for a while about what she was going through.
But persisted with the relationship for several years until it got the better of me and others involved in my life with her.
Subsequently, I broke up the relationship as a result of a total breakdown in the general life we had because I was so rapidly going down the same pathway she had already had progressed.
Where she had been going through this troubled life for at least 15 years by the time met her, I was rapidly going down the same line of degenerating lifestyle in very fast time, more like 3 years from the onset of my friends indentifying my showing signs of having personal problems that were very similar to her.
My condition had accelerated so rapidly that I was in exactly same spot as she was in just 3 years whilst she had taken over 15 years to get to the same point of health degeneration.
In the end, I was lucky to realise I had trouble and so I jumped the boat and tok flight for another life.
The outcome was devasating to everyone close to me because by whioch time it had impacted on just about everyone assocaited with me at the time,,,,,,even my work mates, customers, customer's employees and my immediate family to such an extent that they were very worried about me.
The years have gone by since 1986 with some of it vey nearly ending it for me because I had a battle on my hands to deal with this problem that I had and this battle only subsided when I made my decision to change direction once more around 1995 and prune off the dead branches to allow my new branches to grow.
By the time you and your wife had met me in 2003, I was long over it all and already started on my new life as you know it now.
Out of all this struggle, I have achieved many targets and set new ones not only for me but for many other individuals who have likewise problems although mostly very different to what you are going through.
Finally, I am available to try and assit you if only you will take my advice and directions for it will help you find yourself again and maybe go through the next stage of your life with happiness and fulfilment.
I am sadden by the news of your wife whom I have kind hearted thoughts for because she actually understands me somewhat far better then most people who have known me most of life and I give her credit for that too.
Banjo, I know you can snap out of the "darklight of the night" (a quote from someone elses words) and begin a new course of life's destiny.
Your destiny is in your hands only and with a little support, understanding and help from me you will be okay soon.
Trust me.
Zoopa is my name (oh and you now know my nickname ALTHOUGH it is seldom do people get to know it and how it came to be a part of my life.

Have a great Landrover Day Banjo
Zoopa

Originally Posted by banjo

Oh dear i think this is going to hurt...Where to start
Well i have been on a pension for a few years now because i have AGROPHOBIA servere panic disorder.i have trouble going out to the point where i have locked myself in the bathroom in colds sweats with my heart in my throat thinking i would passout or pee or crap myself..i also have done this when i have had people coming over to visit or in this case (people offering to come & help )..it has ruined my life & my immediate family (wife & kids)..you know we used to go up to our local bush (hillsborough ) when we had a nissan SWB kids loved it but it sometimes could take me an hour to get there & we only live literaly 5 min drive from it..
its been realy hard for us because our families think its a big joke .they seem to think its funny to take the micky out of me ..but 27 years of abuse mentaly,physically,mentaly sexualy..
So i dont deal with people to well cause if i have to leave or (hide)as such they dont understand so we just dont do it but its now realy taking its toll on the wife & kids..
we had to file bankrupt a few years back now & the way this rover is going it could send us there again..wife (karen is realy worried )
i had a friend who i used to do stuff with because he didnt care that if we where going some where if i needed to turn round & head for home he didnt say anything i would just settle myself down & then turnround again & keep going & catch up to him & this could happen a few times before i got there & sometime i couldnt get there but he was ok with it so we got on real good but he went & died on me & i have taken it hard & since then i havent been able to do anything realy & we used to go bush alot just for the day out to sugarloaf & out the back of glendale & up hillsborough man i miss those days we all had fun me the kids & wife plus my friend..we used to work for ourselves i am a diesel mechanic by trade havent touched tools since i done my trade 20 years ago but we used to wash & grease trucks that kept us going was good money cause we used to do about 20 trucks a week..
Now the best i do is going down to the local shops again 5min drive away but i do go for a walk round aldi the cheap shops & the paper shop gotta get me rover mags..but this rarely happens .karen does all my running around picking up parts & the like..
i seem to get on better with woman the shrink says its because most of the abuse i suffered was from my father..
hence the reason we only see a few family members ..
we thought it bout time i told use as we have had offers of help with the car..
dont know how i would handle it..but if it wasnt for karen i know i would be dead she saved me..
the best thing so far is my kids..
& i have to say i have never found so many people to offer to help when they havent even met us ..thats cool.
i can only hope that when the car is sorted i can get some part of our life back & start going back to the bush...
So we would like to say many many thanks to everyone who has offered to help...
Not trying to be sobby just thought if use new the problem it mite make it easier to understand why i cant except the offers of help but i (we) really appreciate them i dont know how i would handle people here for the time it could take...
THANKS Jason & Karen..

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Well i did do something differant today i did totaly out of the blue i actualy stood up for myself & Karen...
Mother was here as usual for a monday mornin & after awhile she started so is every thing back to normal now ..I said no I have run Karen down so much she hates me detests me does not trust me ....I said she has done so much for me & for the kids we have all run her down mainly me ..SHE says bull**** she could of said no to doing it all then i berd up no she oviously did care thats why she did everything for me & was always worried what mood i would be in when she got home as i got jelous & posesive of her because i like to have Karen at home with me she is my best MATE....& i have taken everything she wanted to do away from her because of this....

THEN i said i have lost the only person i TRUST & love & care for because of this ..
She says thanks (about the trust thing)
I said yes thats right i don't trust you at all..
She says thanks very much...

Then i thought she went to the loo so i made a cuppa & went outside for a smoke but i never heard the loo flush when she came out so i think she was hopping for some sympathy for it ...NOT HAPPENING.....



But she did say they where going to sell there camper after my stepfather gets back from birdsvile.. I said i would love to buy it as its an offroad one with the hard floor.I said i don't care if i only use it to go upto stockton every weekend at least i would use it ..she recons that they could sell it to me & i could pay it off weekly ......

I'M not going to hold my breath but i will let use know how it goes..He leaves on monday for 2 weeks outback....

BANJO, way to go mateee!!!!! Mate I can tell by your post that you feel better in yourself for standing on your digs!!!!
Seriously though, that is the most positive post you have made since the start of this thread. I know its difficult, I can associate with that because my father was domineering and you where always walking on eggshells around him.
Chalk that up as an achievement for the day!!!!

Well Karen & i have been chating a bit & its not to bad ,she still doesn't want me or want to open herself up to me again to go through this again..

Hi All
finally got the approval to pour my slab for the shed today, been a long battle since june last year. One bite at a time and we are under way and hopefully be poured on friday. Mentioned before Jason, my wife has been treated for stress/depression for the last 2 years, very nearly ruined a 30 year marrage (in this case I just couldnt take it any more) but I kicked my own ass and finally things are on the improve. I am sure there will be tough times ahead for you and Karen but stick to the task at hand, look after yoourself (love yourself too, cant love any one else until you learn to love yourself).
I am going to make you an offer now Jason and It would be nice if others felt they could (making this a public offer so others may come on board)
I will Do a direct deposit into your account for
$200
to go toward some camping gear/camper tailer of your choice
All you need to do Jason is PM your account details
cheers
blaze
ps
hope all your tommorows are better than your yestedays

OH thats what else mother had to say yesterday aswell..she was going on about how i'm doing everything all the running around folding all the pamphlets & papers and getting out & delivering them...She says so who gets all the money for you doing all this ? ****OFF mole i have had a perfect life since i have been with Karen & not under you or the oldman THE MONEY COMES INTO THE HOUSE WE HAVE NEVER HAD HER MONEY & MY MONEY ITS ALWAYS HOUSE MONEY ..THATS WHY WE BOTH DO WHAT WE CAN TO EARN A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY....Mind you i do know that KAREN has gone without so much so i could get stuff to do when i'm bored like my models & all the money i spent i my car which i allways looked at it as our car its our good car.....









































I wont be going back to my ****hole mothers or my fathers when Karen is better i have asked Karen to admit me into the mental hospital so i cant leave there & come back here to annoy her or the kids & i cant be releast till Karen signs me out...
I have also told Karen everything mother has had to say i have no secrets from Karen at all & i tell her everything ..
I think this will be the best thing for everyone if i get admited to the hospital that way mother or ****wit father cant get me out only Karen can sign me out if & when she is ready or thinks i am ready.....

Crap i have to finish folding the pamphlets this morning then i will go down the road to get my smokes & up to get the papers & start to fold them that way i dont have to walk them i can bag them & put the pamphlets in the bag & throw them....If i'm lucky i mite be able to get them delivered today this arvo that way i wont have anything to do tomorrow.....

I have know idea as to how Karen done this all on her own i am stuffed although i have always folded to help her she just had to chuck them or walk the papers..THE WOMAN is incredable.......

I realy need some sleep i cant sleep not game to incase i cuddle Karen or something so i only dose for an hour a night.....