Well it seem all i do is ****up .I haven't left Karen alone while i have been up here i text her & i have rang her which she didn't want any of that.
Use know i have no one else to talk to so i just talk with Karen all the time well thats been wrong of me ...
Karen & the kids have been such a major part in my life that i am having to much trouble here on my own, I dont go over to the house very much as i am very uncomfortable there so rearly go over there..
I walk around the yard & up & down the driveway then come back to my little room & just sit here...
I was talking to Karen this morning & she told me that it is 100% over so i wont be seeing them again ever i dont even have the room for the kids to sleep if they did come up here plus i wouldn't want them to leave ...
All my stuff is at Karens i have brought bugga all with me .. i should of brang my dog so i would have him to talk to..Karen said today that the kids are adjusting to me not being there....
The worst part off all this is i didn't listen to Karen when she told me stuff it took you guys to tell me in retard turms so i would understand..Maybe those of you who have Karens number should ring her then use could post up here in retard turms again so i understand what it is she is saying to me...
Went to the paper shop this morning & bakers delite was going to go into bilo but couldn't so i have meat for tonight then i go back to samwiches...
I understand what i have done to Karen but probably not fully Karen has been speaking to me in away that i have never heard her talk to me ever..
I got into an argument with mother after talking to Karen i told her that Karen told me its over & that i have lost everything & that i wont see the kids again,, & she said thats bull**** its your choice if you see the kids . I said yep but i have a problem which puts my kids in a bad spot & i dont do visits even more so from here, Then she said i have been there i know exactly how it feels & i said dont even ****ing try that & walked off then she slamed the doors & left for her sewing class...
So now im arguing with her but she knows better than me i spose this is the person i asked to get me some fresh meat up the road & then just gave me there old meat from her place & i wont eat it its part of my problem i buy it fresh & freeze it that way i know how old it is or if its bad..
So this is now my life i will be off my medication once that runs out as i cant just run back down to my docs & i wont be seeking any other help because the only people i was doing it for i can now not see . I will be on the net till that runs out then that will be gone aswell.& i will just be sitting in my little room ...
I will sent Karen one last text today & then they will never hear or see from me again that way they will be fine & not have me over there head...
I will get Karen to sell everything of mine that is at her place thatway it should pay out the mobile bills & i can keep mine . . Just have to find away to get my dog. . .
I don't know how long it will last me being here or what will ever haapen to me ...
To everyone i am so sorry that i will be letting use down & i AM VERY VERY SORRY TO KAREN & THE KIDS FOR EVER BEING APART OF THERE LIVES & RUINING THERE COMPLETE LIVES...I have 2 great kids & now they should be able to lead fully noram lives from now on....
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE KAREN IT WILL NEVER CHANGE , MY FEELING FOR HER & THE KIDS WILL ONLY DIE WHEN I DO..
Karen is a most amazing person & i hope use will alway stay in touch with her & the kids i hate being here away from them ..
I cant even manage to get some food for myself & its no use asking my parents..As i dont think they like the idea of being parents to a retard or a child now at there age . as thats pretty much what its like Karen tells me & they just dont care as im 38 i should be able to look after myself....
I have to except this is now my life..
I will say my goodbyes now as i have no idea as to when my internet will stop..I thank use all for the friendships i have finaly expreerianced for the first time it is an amazing feeling to be able to call use MATES...
But i would realy apreciate it if use can stay in touch with Karen text or ring her for those that have her number for those who dont just ask someone who does I doubt Karen would mind.. they need some normal friends in there life & i would be proud if use think of Karen to be a good friend to use...if you message Karen threw here you will probably have to text her to let her know she doesn't get on the puter very much....
THANKS Jason....
Originally Posted by Ausfree
Good luck!!!!
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