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Thread: Lawnmower jokes wanted

  1. 6th September 2010, 05:44 PM #11
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    ezyrama
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blknight.aus View Post
    you could always make the line about he can wear thongs while mowing now, his feet have been trimmed back so the mower cant cut his toes off again.
    Sharp As!
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  2. 6th September 2010, 06:30 PM #12
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    teach all the really young kids he has that come round about the this little piggy went to market..
    Dave

    "In a Landrover the other vehicle is your crumple zone."

    For spelling call Rogets, for mechanicing call me.

    Fozzy, 2.25D SIII Ex DCA Ute
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    Archaeoptersix 1990 6x6 dual cab(This things staying)


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  3. 6th September 2010, 06:48 PM #13
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    OIL IN THE FUEL

    My wife decided that she would cut the lawn while I was away on course for 6 weeks, inpreperation for the event she decided it best to refuel the mower before starting it so she grabed the first oil can insight and filled the tank with 90 gear oil, after trying to start it over a long period of time she gave in and took it to the mower shop after departing some dollars she took it home and refilled the tank with oil again.
    When I came home I had to buy a carby gasket kit and while talking to the mower shop man I told him whst had happened, his reply was i had a woman do the same thing the other day.
    When I got home I was telling her she had another stupid mate some where near by that had done the samething about 2 weeks ago, our daughter piped up and said mummy had to take our mower down there too to get some oil taken out.
    It took some time to live that one down and has never touched the mower again since 1978
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  4. 6th September 2010, 07:16 PM #14
    WhiteD3
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    I didn't find this funny at the time but........

    My first house, on an acreage with a dam. SWMBO insisted she could do her bit so onto the brand new Greenfield ride-on she goes.....................straight into the dam.

    Not funny.

    Pulled the spark plug and air filter out, turned it over 20 or so times until the water stopped coming out , put it back together and with the help of lots of WD40, off she (the mower...not the Mrs) went again.

    Upside was I had a story to torture her with for the last 25 years
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  5. 6th September 2010, 07:50 PM #15
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    You could ask him when is he next going to mow the lawn.
    Tomorrow or Toeday??

    Or tell him there is a new - super safe mower coming on to the market, you dont have to bend down to pull the rope, it has a electric starter & you just use your big toe to push the starter button...
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  6. 6th September 2010, 07:57 PM #16
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    Turn up with [nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VexO1L0_d2U&feature=related"]YouTube- Vanessa Mae Toccata and Fugue[/nomedia] playing on the stereo. ( i cant edit that back down to toccatta)

    hand him some tickets for a trip to tocata then take them back telling him "never mind, I see youve been"

    give him a pair of sandles, tell him they are thongs for the toeless

    ask him if you can have is steel toe boots, they wont be needing them in the near future

    tell him you wont play any sports with him, If hes not going to toe the line why should you.

    advise him you dont want to have him on your side in a bar brawl, if hes got to go toe to toe with anyone hes had it.
    Dave

    "In a Landrover the other vehicle is your crumple zone."

    For spelling call Rogets, for mechanicing call me.

    Fozzy, 2.25D SIII Ex DCA Ute
    Tdi autoManual d1 (gave it to the Mupion)
    Archaeoptersix 1990 6x6 dual cab(This things staying)


    If you've benefited from one or more of my posts please remember, your taxes paid for my skill sets, I'm just trying to make sure you get your monies worth.
    If you think you're in front on the deal, pay it forwards.
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  7. 6th September 2010, 07:57 PM #17
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    Get him an Electric one, at least he could follow the cord home to get help.
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  8. 6th September 2010, 08:29 PM #18
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    Don't tell jokes.

    He might get toey.

    Or maybe he might get cut up about it.
    [B][I]Andrew[/I][/B]

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  9. 7th September 2010, 11:06 AM #19
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    Don't be so mean.

    Just offer to get a pair of Kiwi safety boots shipped over for him ..........

    Cheers .........

    BMKAL

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  10. 7th September 2010, 11:36 AM #20
    d@rk51d3 Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Blknight.aus View Post
    you could always make the line about he can wear thongs while mowing now, his feet have been trimmed back so the mower cant cut his toes off again.
    Listening to the radio about 12 months ago, a fella rang in and told the story of how he went out to whipper snip the back yard one arvo (in his thongs). However, he had run out of nylon cord, so, being the improvising type, he tied on a length of barbed wire.

    One or two blips of the throttle promptly removed the toenails on one foot, so off to hospital to get his bleeding stubs tended to.

    Apparently he went back out a few days later to finish the job......
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