Thread: Missing member wa Chris Hardie

Originally Posted by AussieAub

Being someone who has - and does - suffer from depression, and has returning bouts of PTSD (this Christmas period I also had a "turn"), I can tell you it's really not that easy to pick up a phone, or speak to anyone. Feelings and emotions run riot to a point that is indescribable, and you really do feel like no-one will care, irrespective of what you say or do.

Having suffered myself with suicidal depression, I can tell you that you don't feel it, you don't feel that anything is "wrong". Its others that see it. Everything feels normal, other than knowing that things are getting just that little too much, but you're sure you can cope, even though in reality you can't. That you don't wont to burden other people with your problems. That you "know" you can get over them. Unfortunately it's a hard road to turn back from. The support lines are only good if you know and can accept you have a problem. It's not an easy trait to spot and accept within yourself.

I've been fortunate that having nearly attempted the worse, my immediate family can tell the signs, and have stepped in at the warning signs.
It's really not a good place to be in, in any form of the "illness" (for want of a better word).

My heart felt feelings go out to Chris's family and friends. It's a very sad loss indeed.

RIP Chris.

respectfully Kieren I will disagree that depression feels that way for everyone...it affects different people in different ways. Some get angry, some shut down, some carry on and no one would even know...my advice comes from being the former wife of someone who made numerous attempts on their own life that I witnessed and had to stop. That Lifeline call center talked the him down and saved his life on more than one occassion. The helplines aren't restricted to those who have self diagnosed (edit - by this I mean those who have recognised their mindset as depression, knowing they already suffer from it) - it might just be you feel your stress levels have gone through the roof or you feel really flat and want to talk to someone. The thought of suicide could be the furthest thing from your mind.

Sarah

Although iv'e worked as a Mental Health Nurse for 35 years I still find it hard to come to terms with the devistating effects of depression on the person who is depressed, his family and friends. A very sad loss, and our thoughts are with his family.

Allan and Yvonne

Deepest to all Chris's family and his close friends.

Rob and Harv (WA)

Originally Posted by LSD_AUTOMOTIVE

respectfully Kieren I will disagree that depression feels that way for everyone...it affects different people in different ways.

Don't actually believe I said it did. I was trying to eplain how I feel/felt, from a "first hand" experience, not from a bystander.

The helplines aren't restricted to those who have self diagnosed

Just to be clear, I'm not a "self diagnosed" case. I have had ongoing professional medical treatment on and off. I can also say (first hand) that counselling and talking to strangers on a phone can - and sometimes does - provoke the feelings. I actually felt worse after some of my counselling sessions and it was decided, by a professional practioner, that it would be best (for me) to discontinue the counselling.

Now I'm certainly not saying this is the case for everyone. This is from MY OWN experiences of depression from a first hand account. It's not my place to tell others how they feel or why, and I would hope others to respect that what I have typed is done from my own experience.

it might just be you feel your stress levels have gone through the roof or you feel really flat. The thought of suicide could be the furthest thing from your mind.

Sarah

Yes, stress plays a major part in depression, more so in PTSD patients, so I believe from my medics. Combine the two and its a nasty cocktail.
I sincerely hope that's not a personal diagnosis you have just made of me over an internet forum??
Unfortunately, I have at a point in my life actually thought that suicide WAS the only way out. And family members have also been concerned that I may have had another re-occurance of this recently. Fortunatley enough I was "forced" into recent treatment, almost against my will, but before a near breakdown of my own.

Sadly, this has diversed away from the topic of this thread, and I apologise profusely to others. This sad tale has bought about thoughts of my own past and present condition, but hope it sheds just the smallest of light about a condition that is so common, often going unrecognised, and not fully understood by those who have never experienced it.

Mental illness is one of those things that can be hard to say how it affects people. I deal with alot of mentally ill people, be it depression or more severe forms that affect cognitive ability and other functions, and each and every person deals with it in a different way, they display different behaviours as a result of the affects it has on them.

Originally Posted by AussieAub

I sincerely hope that's not a personal diagnosis you have just made of me over an internet forum??

oh gosh Kieren - no absolutely not. I'm so sorry, I wasn't meaning to be upsetting. I used 'self diagnosis' but perhaps 'recognised' would perhaps have been a better word? I just meant it (the lifeline) isn't just for people who identify that they are depressed at that particular moment in time (eg. when they decide to call), it's an avenue for those feeling a bit lost or upset or struggling. Honestly - I wasn't using your story to exemplify, I was being general.

I was putting the lifeline out there merely as a suggestion incase it could help someone and avoid the heart ache that this family is now going through - it was not me trying to over simplify or to prescribe treatment...it was just an effort to be helpful. I sincerely apologise

I can see that you feel that as a bystander my experience is some how lesser but it does not diminish how it feels to see a loved one struggle and make decisions to harm themself.

terrible news.depression/suicide is still under the radar alot more people die from killing themselves due to depression then on the roads and it is probably similar casualty rates to some common cancers.having been in sorta similar situations to chris i feel deeply sorry for him that he had to go through that.

Originally Posted by AussieAub

Being someone who has - and does - suffer from depression, and has returning bouts of PTSD (this Christmas period I also had a "turn"), I can tell you it's really not that easy to pick up a phone, or speak to anyone. Feelings and emotions run riot to a point that is indescribable, and you really do feel like no-one will care, irrespective of what you say or do.

Having suffered myself with suicidal depression, I can tell you that you don't feel it, you don't feel that anything is "wrong". Its others that see it. Everything feels normal, other than knowing that things are getting just that little too much, but you're sure you can cope, even though in reality you can't. That you don't wont to burden other people with your problems. That you "know" you can get over them. Unfortunately it's a hard road to turn back from. The support lines are only good if you know and can accept you have a problem. It's not an easy trait to spot and accept within yourself.

I've been fortunate that having nearly attempted the worse, my immediate family can tell the signs, and have stepped in at the warning signs.
It's really not a good place to be in, in any form of the "illness" (for want of a better word).

My heart felt feelings go out to Chris's family and friends. It's a very sad loss indeed.


RIP Chris.

Kieren,
Thanks for sharing that took a lot of guts. Not quite on your level but I have been a little that way the last 12 months with all the upheaval and job changes. Confidence shattered and mild panic attacks that I have never ever had in my life before, but I will push through it. Stay safe and if you ever need people to talk to we are here.