Thread: Words of Wisdom?

I forgot VIRUS and BE PRACTICAL as promised last September

VIRUS
Your computer's crashed?
Your hard disc may be suffering from a cosmic imbalance or 'virus'.
Restore your computer to health by taking the following tips:
1.Place a healing crystal on top of your VDU
2.clear your PC's negative aura by lighting an incense stick.
3. re-invigorate your mouse by massaging it with essential oils.
4.energise your CD-ROM by intoning ancient Hindu mantras.
5. buy a new computer.

BE PRACTICAL
Use transcendentant harmonics and resonance healing techniques to get your shoes repaired

next....INFIDELITY and KIND WORDS

INFIDELITY

Sometimes, what we perceive as sexual infidelity is merely a reaffirmation of our essential humanity.
If you have been unfaithful to your partener,be completely honest and open-explain to your partener the circumstances and how you feel now.
If you've been reaffirming your essential humanity with large numbers of people,it might be best to get your partener to attend an anger management course before you get into all the details.

KIND WORDS

We often forget how hard life can be for an office junior or some other young person in the place where we work
When people make mistakes, it doesn't always help to reproach them for it.
In fact, you'll be astonished how encouraging a few kind words can be.
After all, you don't have to mean them.

next....GETTING THE MOST OUT OF LIFE and GIBBERISH

GETTING THE MOST OUT OF LIFE

Get the most out of life by becoming filthy rich......

GIBBERISH

To cleanse your mind of verbal accretions, and to deconstruct unnecessary verbalisations, talk gibberish for at least 20 minutes every day.
Don't be embarrassed if friends and colleagues can't understand what you are saying. Turn it into a game - see if they can guess when your'e talking gibberish and talking normally!

next....PETS and MIRROR MEDITATION

PETS

Show your animal companion your appreciation by taking him/her with you on your next tantric studies weekend.

MIRROR MEDITATION

Sit down in the lotus position, facing a full length mirror.
In complete silence, stare at your own face in the mirror, without blinking.
For 3 or 4 hours nothing will happen.
PERSIST
After 4 to 6 hours, the eyes of the face in the mirror will start to roll its eyes and its tongue will flop out of its mouth.
Do not be alarmed - this is perfectly normal.
PERSIST
After 7 to 8 hours, the face in the mirror will suddenly become distorted and appear to be screaming.
Do not be alarmed - this is perfectly normal.
PERSIST
After 8 to 10 hours the face in the mirror will come to meet yours. It will feel as if you are bashing your head repeatedly into a glass object.
You will now find yourself in an altered state of consciousness.
This is know as UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
It is followed by another higher state, known as HOSPITAL.

next.....SATISFYING and PHYSICAL HARMONY

SATISFYING

Satisfy your inner child by eating ten boxes of smarties.

PHYSICAL HARMONY

Each organ of your body has a vital part to play in your well-being.
Make sure all of your organs work in harmony together.
Make your heart talk to your head.
Get your pancreas to chat to your liver.
Invite your gall bladder to email your ovaries.
If your lower intestine receives anonymous calls, you should see a doctor immediately.

next...FORGIVENESS and UTTER PEACE

hmmm its been over a month, you guys must be hanging out for this.......

FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness can be fun
Throw a forgiveness party for the person who has done you wrong.
With your friends as witnesses, hold hands with your former enemy and say goodbye to your anger.
Get your friends to shout "Goodbye anger"
Throw a funeral for your lost anger.

UTTER PEACE
Lay aside one day a month as your very own Day of Stillness.
Close the curtains.
Take the phone off the hook.
Don't read books or papers.
Don't eat ort drink anything.
Don't watch tv.
Don't listen to the radio.
Don't do anything.
(it's ok to pick your nose a little)

next....CONNECT WITH OTHERS, and...SHARING

Reality.

Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of drugs.

Dave.