Thread: If you never had the chance to meet your dad...

Sarah,

If you can, why not start writing a momento book. Jot down all the good times you had with Simon. His reaction to finding out he will become a Dad, the time when Lucas was born, your plans together, a nick-name that Simon gave Lucas, the nights that Simon walked Lucas to sleep.... add some photos to the book, and explain what they are in a note underneath.

These are the sorts of things that Lucas can show his kids one day.

Having never known my own father, and my grand-father taking his place the best he could, I cherish everything that I have that was theirs. Right down to an old wooden extension ladder that was probably fit for the tip about 50 years ago.

I have a couple of photos that I cherish. They have been scanned & printed, and the originals are locked away carefully.

You cant create memories, but you can certainly let Lucas know how much his dad loved him. It is important that Lucas understand when he is older, that what happened to Simon wasn't his fault. It isn't anyones fault, and he cant blame anyone.

One other thing to maybe include. Print out the original post that you put up, telling us about Simon. That post includes your thoughts at the time. They might be hard to read right now, but it was clear to all of us that read it, that Simon was someone very special, and that Lucas was a very important part of his life.

I have a few things of my dad's which my wife just doesn't understand why they are so important to me, I lost my dad when I was a teen. I was lucky enough to get his wedding ring, it was the only jewelry he had apart from cufflinks which I also got.
I got my dad's ties, he had allot as he was on tv and couldn't wear the same one twice in a year, and I also have his old HMV valve radio, which doesn't even work and is in poor shape, but I have memories of him telling me about how he used to listen to it as a kid. I have since collected a few radios exactly the same which work, and built valve radios and amp's but am leaving dad's just as he left it.
I have the clock which used to be on my dad's desk in his work office in the early 80's, its a piece of junky plastic rubbish to anyone else.

I guess anything which was important to Simon and shows years of his use either a manual or address book or something he has thumbed through, favorite clothes which show years of wear, anything he loved also and had for a long period of time no matter how mundane or simple.

A whole bunch of news papers from the time is also good, makes you remember or think about how some things were at the time, from simple things like what a house costs and the weather was like, through to what news things were happening.

I just went through the same process again after having to clean out my grandfathers house as next of kin and executor. Its very hard to do, and I know you said space is a premium but anything you can put away is a bonus.


Its amazing how the most silly little objects can stir such emotion and make you realise how lucky you are.

Now Im ranting.

Hi Sarah
Sorry for such a late post, but you may find this helpful
It's not the most practical, or even possible thing.
But to have something that he started; a project, a workpiece, car to be restored, etc.
Something that can be picked up from where he left off.
Thankfully my old man is still with me, but i was around when grandad died, and saw the effect it had on my father.
Anything that helps your son connect with who his father was will help
All the best
Cheers
Muppet

Unfortunately I am one of those that has been in this type of situation, my father died from cancer when I was 4. I was left with many things: Fishing gear (lots) some fire arms, a few tools, a few photos, watch, his reading glasses, Camping/kitchen Knives, books.

The photos of him arent that many, as a young family in the 70's he was the one taking the pictures. I have no video/motion picture or sound recording. This is a big one for me. If you have ANY sound or video, make multiple copies and store in different locations. Pictures speak somewhat, but no where near the magnitude of video/voice.

Also if Simon has his parents or brothers that you feel are similar and on the same page (some family members dont get along at all and have completely different outlooks on life........) it will be great for Lucas, along with Simon's male friends. This wasnt the case for me so much, my grandfather died from the same cancer 3 months before I was born, leaving myself and my uncle as the only 2 males of our family line in Australia. I do not speak to my uncle. My family also moved interstate when I was 2 so my fathers long term friends where not about.

All the bits and pieces, books have given me a small glimpse into a man I never knew. I got my Interest in LR from him. Depending on what you have left from Simon, may pose a dilema for Lucas at an older age, what to keep and what not to........but thats not as bad as having nothing to touch feel....I have sold most of the fishing gear becuase it was all in A1 condition and vintage. I did not want to use it and I did not want to have it end up rusting or the like....I sold 2 of the 3 fire arms, the last will never be sold! The watch will never be sold! I have passed on some books, mostly the re-loading books to guys that put them to use.

I will say this, of any the material things you have from Simon, under NO circumstance lend them to friends or family, no matter how small they may seem. There is nothing worse than having something broken/lost and the bad attitude that goes with it. Once that has been done you will never get it back and feel stupid for doing so...its not the item but the sentimental value that is the key.

hope this is of some help in a very difficult time. Great that you are thinking ahead.

cheers,
Serg

Originally Posted by Disco Muppet

Hi Sarah
Sorry for such a late post, but you may find this helpful
It's not the most practical, or even possible thing.
But to have something that he started; a project, a workpiece, car to be restored, etc.
Something that can be picked up from where he left off.
Thankfully my old man is still with me, but i was around when grandad died, and saw the effect it had on my father.
Anything that helps your son connect with who his father was will help
All the best
Cheers
Muppet

Thanks Muppet I have his Series 2a that I intend to keep for Lucas, that would be the project that was started Thanks for taking the time to make the suggestion

I'm very sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age, Serg. I am very wary about lending anything...the things I gave in the week after he passed never came back. I learnt pretty quickly to not let things go.

I have a large tool chest filled for the moment - clothes, uniform, motorbike helmet and jacket, his old lunch box, reading glasses, land rover scale models, a snap on tools sticker, business cards and magnets, a watch, a toy tank I bought for him that he LOVED. All the photos I had, printed. I hope it will go a little way to explaining who he was

It's been almost 9 years and the questions about Dad are starting to increase. I will forever be grateful to those that took the time to offer their thoughts on this. It really has made all the difference.

I have my dads work glasses , he was a boilermaker ,they are covered in weld spatter. I also have a lot of his wood working tools & fishing rods . I used to go to Double Island Point fishing with him in his S3 , unfortunatly he sold the S3 before he died & I hace not been fishing since his passing.