Thread: Autism Spectrum Disorder - top resource

Originally Posted by Chookie

Hi all,
I too have a 9yr old boy with an Aspergers diagnosis and my wife & I have been deliberating over whether to share this with his yr4 classmates as a way of explaining his "different" behaviour.
I have read some of the earlier posts about bullying and don't know if "outing" his ASD will line him for exclusion or attack?? As it stands, he doesn't hold back if he is getting pushed around but instead, he tends to get excluded or otherwise provoked into inappropriate behaviour in a misguided attempt at popularity... It is the provocation aspect which has made us consider informing the other kids in an attempt to keep him on track in the classroom...
Are a group of 9-10 year olds mature enough to deal with this or are sleeping dogs best left lying?

This is a great thread from guys at the coal face and I appreciate your experiences and comments..
Cheers
Chookie
'98 300Tdi Disco

G'day Chookie,

The main thing to consider is what is working for you and your wife and for your child with Asperger's. Whether you disclose to your son or not is up to you too. It is when your children start to realise they are "different" to other kids and cannot figure out why then that may be a time when disclosing could help or hinder. In my study I had a person who was not informed by his parents that he had Asperger's until he was 20 and his statement was that he wish he knew a lot earlier. That is only one example. Speak to the Principal and speak to the teacher about your son. There are teacher learning resources which guide a teacher about the process of introducing to classmates about the difference Asperger's or Autism makes at school. This may be in the form of a video clip which the whole class watches. At the end of this the teacher - with your permission and your son's can disclose to the class - if you want them too.

If you contact the state branch of the Autism group they should be able to suggest links to the learning resources that you teacher could use. There are some classmates who will treat your son no differently; some will treat your son better; and there are some kids who are just rotten little ****s no matter what information you provide them.


You can find a fair bit of teacher directed resources online by doing an internet with the keywords of Asperger's in the classroom - even some Australian stuff!

Good luck Chookie - here is to an interesting life!

Kind Regards
Lionel

Our of curiosity and my apologies if it is of the topic, have any of the members with a relative with autism looked into or have a service dog?
I was looking at some of the documentary videos in youtube about autism and dogs and the results are extraordinary.
I guess that here in Oz are some organizations that train service dogs for that and other purposes.

Originally Posted by Lionelgee

G'day Chookie,

The main thing to consider is what is working for you and your wife and for your child with Asperger's. Whether you disclose to your son or not is up to you too. It is when your children start to realise they are "different" to other kids and cannot figure out why then that may be a time when disclosing could help or hinder. In my study I had a person who was not informed by his parents that he had Asperger's until he was 20 and his statement was that he wish he knew a lot earlier. That is only one example. Speak to the Principal and speak to the teacher about your son. There are teacher learning resources which guide a teacher about the process of introducing to classmates about the difference Asperger's or Autism makes at school. This may be in the form of a video clip which the whole class watches. At the end of this the teacher - with your permission and your son's can disclose to the class - if you want them too.

If you contact the state branch of the Autism group they should be able to suggest links to the learning resources that you teacher could use. There are some classmates who will treat your son no differently; some will treat your son better; and there are some kids who are just rotten little ****s no matter what information you provide them.


You can find a fair bit of teacher directed resources online by doing an internet with the keywords of Asperger's in the classroom - even some Australian stuff!

Good luck Chookie - here is to an interesting life!

Kind Regards
Lionel

Thanks Lionel,
We have told our son about his Aspergers and it was the best thing we could of done.. things that he had noticed as being different (and were frustrating him to no end) make more sense to him now and he can understand the reasoning behind his need of an Education Assistant in the class and the extra charts and checklists on his desk that only he had.. His acceptance has made a world of difference to us, his teachers and our relationship with him But... We still have a long, long way to go!

We had all sorts of issues last year with his teacher disputing his diagnosis and refusing to take any of the strategies we found worked with him on board - all she wanted to do was medicate him (and my wife as well - she actually suggested it! ). Thankfully, his new teacher is more openminded and his EA has done quite a lot of research on Aspergers off her own bat - she hadn't encountered it prior to my son, so this year has been a lot better.

I will do a bit more internet surfing and research before talking to his class as I want it to go well and be a positive experience.. not a freak show

Besides the frequent frustrations that come with having an Aspie son, I love the different insight and honest, unclouded way that he views the world.. I have learnt a lot from my 9 year old!

Cheers
Chookie

Originally Posted by Chookie

Thanks Lionel,
We have told our son about his Aspergers and it was the best thing we could of done.. things that he had noticed as being different (and were frustrating him to no end) make more sense to him now and he can understand the reasoning behind his need of an Education Assistant in the class and the extra charts and checklists on his desk that only he had.. His acceptance has made a world of difference to us, his teachers and our relationship with him But... We still have a long, long way to go!

We had all sorts of issues last year with his teacher disputing his diagnosis and refusing to take any of the strategies we found worked with him on board - all she wanted to do was medicate him (and my wife as well - she actually suggested it! ). Thankfully, his new teacher is more openminded and his EA has done quite a lot of research on Aspergers off her own bat - she hadn't encountered it prior to my son, so this year has been a lot better.

I will do a bit more internet surfing and research before talking to his class as I want it to go well and be a positive experience.. not a freak show

Besides the frequent frustrations that come with having an Aspie son, I love the different insight and honest, unclouded way that he views the world.. I have learnt a lot from my 9 year old!

Cheers
Chookie

G'Day mate


For me, no, I would keep the other kids out of it for now. Sounds like you have a great teacher relationship started, I would work on that.

See if the teacher can help him focus on some activities at school where he will be Mr Average perhaps. Some type of sport or other activity, perhaps photography.

Sounds like he is tying to fit in, so find something that he can fit into, I would suggest. Explain to him that not all people you associate with are going to be your best friends and are more than likely going to be associates who you are friendly with. This way he may not try and fit in with everyone as it sounds like he is trying to.

I just took my boy away to a mates private shooting range I'm a member of to see what he might like (not as exclusive as it sounds, just a few like minded blokes on crapy land you cant farm), too young to understand shooting but after his first 3 minutes on a quade, well, that was us for the weekend. My mate also took him for a ride on a drot, loved it, we also caught some crays, not to keen yet.

Activities, make him busy, he wont worry about being everyones friend he if finds his thing, others will be doing it and they might become real friends, my thoughts, hope it helps.

Tonic

Us

Originally Posted by tonic

G'Day mate


For me, no, I would keep the other kids out of it for now. Sounds like you have a great teacher relationship started, I would work on that.

See if the teacher can help him focus on some activities at school where he will be Mr Average perhaps. Some type of sport or other activity, perhaps photography.

Sounds like he is tying to fit in, so find something that he can fit into, I would suggest. Explain to him that not all people you associate with are going to be your best friends and are more than likely going to be associates who you are friendly with. This way he may not try and fit in with everyone as it sounds like he is trying to.

I just took my boy away to a mates private shooting range I'm a member of to see what he might like (not as exclusive as it sounds, just a few like minded blokes on crapy land you cant farm), too young to understand shooting but after his first 3 minutes on a quade, well, that was us for the weekend. My mate also took him for a ride on a drot, loved it, we also caught some crays, not to keen yet.

Activities, make him busy, he wont worry about being everyones friend he if finds his thing, others will be doing it and they might become real friends, my thoughts, hope it helps.

Tonic

Us

G'day Tonic,

There is no one who will know and seek out the best for your son more than you and your wife. Apart from your son himself. This is because you are there for each other 24 hours a day seven days a week and for everyday of the year.

There is also a big trade out there where people with disability are commodities.

You can come out of the effort of raising children on the Autism Spectrum while still maintaining a strong relationship. There was research conducted a couple of years ago which knocked the commonly quoted "85% of marriages with Autism in family end in divorce" flatly on its arse. The article, which I will have to dig up again and post, found out there is no higher rates of separation between any couple with or without children with any type of disability.

Thank you for posting up the photographs. Two of my children (now adults) have a similar natural hair tint. Scouts and an understanding group leader turned out a great activity for my son, with your son's interest in outdoor stuff maybe cubs might be a future option? Yep just because it worked with my son does not mean it will work for yours.


P.S. http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/ne...rate-is-a-myth
P.P.S Freedman, B., Kalb, L., Zablotsky, B., & Stuart, E. (2012). Relationship Status Among Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders: A Population-Based Study. Journal Of Autism & Developmental Disorders, 42(4), 539-548. doi:10.1007/s10803-011-1269-y





Kind Regards
Lionel

Originally Posted by Lionelgee

Scouts and an understanding group leader turned out a great activity for my son, with your son's interest in outdoor stuff maybe cubs might be a future option? Yep just because it worked with my son does not mean it will work for yours.

Kind Regards
Lionel

I was in scouts for 17 years, I'm sad to say it has become to PC and WHS for me. I coundn't stand not being able to see him do the stuff we used to do. Having said that, it will have to be an option.

My mate in scouts whose dad just happened to be the group leader is now in the Gold Coast Land Rover Owners with me.

Originally Posted by jonesfam

I have read this thread with interest.
We have 5 Aboriginal Foster Children, 2 of which we now have guardianship of, another 2 we have asked for guardianship of & 1 who we will look at becoming guardian of in a year or 2.
Of the 4 boys we have a combination of issues, 2 have server Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, 2 have server herring lose & then there is the Big Fella.
He has autism but is high functioning, he is very bright, articulate & intelligent but shows little interest in learning at school. He has displayed behavioural problems to numerous to mention & at his last school the headmaster decided he was just a naughty boy.
At his new school he attends the Special Education Unit, has started to learn to read & maths & enjoys going to school.
He is 8 & weighs over 50kg & is almost 5' tall, he is huge. He eats healthy foods but finds food a comfort so eats a lot. He is a scary sight on the under 8's football field & scored his first try a couple of weeks ago.
We have found that in the last 12 months after moving away from an Aboriginal Communitee to our small semi rural block, moving him to a better equipped school with caring staff & my wife giving up work to devote more time to all the children he has come head greatly. Lots of work still to do but all the kids have advanced more in the last 12 months than the previous 3 years.
Every small step is a joy, the bad days are a trial but quickly forgotten, but best of all he & all the kids love us & we love them.
Just a quick example, Sunday a week ago we took all the kids to Bramston Beach, first time they had ever been to a proper beach. We had been there a couple of hours & the wife & I were sitting on a towel having a coffee, the Big Fella was a couple of meters away building sand castles, he just looked around at us & quietly said "Thanks Mum & Dad." Then he looked away & kept on carefully making that sand castle.
That stuff counts.
4 out of 5 of our kids are considered Special.
They are all Very Special to us.

Mate, it's parents and people like yourselves that help restore faith in society. I take my hat off to you and wish you all the very best. Well done guys
I have a beautiful 19yo Aspie daughter, so clever and just brilliant, but a social disaster at times . She has come a long way and so have we as parents after loads of specialists and books/ research. Personally, I find it very, very challenging dealing with the day to day issues that can crop up as she is high functioning enough for me to keep forgetting she is just different, even as a toddler she would do amazing things, and learnt to spell, read and talk very early on. Despite the hard times for her and us, she still can surprise us. She recently moved out of home to live with a friend and has come along in leaps and bounds, taking buses and travelling around the state by herself, we are very proud of MOST of her achievments. Still a long way to go as the social aspects of choosing the right friendships is still a worry for us, she just sees the best in everyone.

Again, thanks everyone for contributing to this thread, and Lionel for starting it off

JC

I agree with you JC and also thank everyone for their contributions.. this almost a support group - it is certainly helpful to glimpse into the possible future.
Initially the sole reason for having our son diagnosed was to get him through school with an explanation for his quirkiness - we are still really dreading High school where he will changing rooms and teachers with each class.. but at least we can attempt to garner some understanding from the teachers and hopefully some support - fingers crossed.
We both really don't worry too much about him once he finishes school as I am sure that there is a place for him somewhere in the world - just as long as he is happy and healthy.
Here's pic's of my boy also on a quad bike at the brother in-laws farm (he is definetly an outdoorsman in the making) and another of him with his Didge - he absolutely loves it and plays it like a pro! - this has been his release for frustration as he can blow his bad mood away..
Cheers
Chookie