Thread: JOKES (Part 3)

How true is that. Matt

Onestone was his name

This was his Indian name because he had only one testicle.

After years and years of this torment Onestone cracked and said, "If
anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him onestone any more.

Then one day a young girl forgot and said, "Good morning Onestone."

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest, there he
sh@gged her all day, he sh@gged her all night, he sh@gged her all the
next day, until she died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant business.

Years went by until a woman returned to the village after many years away.

She was overjoyed when she saw onestone and hugged him and said, "Good to see you onestone".

Again, Onestone grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
sh@gged her all day, sh@gged her all night, sh@gged her all the next
day, sh@gged her all the next night, but she wouldn't die!

What is the moral of the story? ................
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>You can't kill two birds with one stone 8O [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]


Cheers
Knight :wink:

If I were santa.....



deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa




Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa



Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build
yourself a family with those?
Santa



Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
your house.
Santa




Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa



Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] Tyrepower, you old softie :wink:

Yeah Vlad things like that bring out the sensative side at times. :wink:
However some of those hard arsed answers to the kids requests had me thinking of my old man for some reason. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

you beat me tyrepower, I just got that one today [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

Two nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome trying to find their way to the convent.

One leans over and says to the other, "I've never come this way before."

The other nun blushes and whispers, "It's the cobblestones." 8O

[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]

Cheers
Knight :wink:

thats bad knight, I love it [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]