Why is Michael Jackson like a Shopping bag?
They're both white, made of plastic and dangerous around small children..
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Why is Michael Jackson like a Shopping bag?
They're both white, made of plastic and dangerous around small children..
Thats an absolute killer disco95 [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
It'd wanna be good, it's the first joke I've put up. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif[/img]
stolen from RR and Disco forum
One day a 12 year old boy was walking down the street when a
car pulled up beside him and wound down its window. "I'll
give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car" said the driver.
"No way, get stuffed!" replied the boy.
"How about a bag of lollies and 10 bucks" the driver asked.
"I said no way" replied the boy
"What about a bag of lollies and 50 bucks?" asked the
driver.
"No, I'm not getting in the car." answered the boy.
"Okay, I'll give you a bag of lollies and $100" the driver
offered.
"No!" replied the boy.
"What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver.
The boy replied: "Listen Dad, you bought the bloody Land Cruiser,
you live with it!"
The Girls Skinny Dipping and the Old Farmer
An old farmer near Cairns had owned a large farm for several years. He
had a large dam in the back, fixed up nice, with picnic tables,
horseshoe courts and some apple trees. The dam was properly shaped
and fixed up for swimming.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam, to look
things over as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a 5
gallon bucket to bring back some fruit from the trees. As he neared
the dam he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny
dipping in his dam. He made the women aware of his presence and
they all went to the deep end of the dam. One of the women shouted
"We're not getting out until you leave!"
The old man frowned and said.....
"I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you
get out of the dam naked." Holding up the bucket he said..
"I'm here to feed the crocodile."
MORAL: Old age and cunning will triumph over youth and enthusiasm
every time!!
Another little Johnny one:
Teacher asks the class to think up different ways of using the word indefinitely.
Little Mary puts up her hand: "Because of the strike, the buses were delayed indefinitely".
"Very good" says teacher, "anyone else?".
Little Sally puts up her hand: "Because of the weather, the planes were delayed indefinitely".
"No, that's too similar to Mary's sentence, does anyone have anything different?".
Little Johnny sticks up his hand, teacher groans inwardly, but decides he can't do too much with this one...."ok Johnny"
"As I felt my balls slap against her ass, I knew I was in, definitely!"
[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] Frenchie! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
now that one was PURE GOLD!!!!
[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
Cheers
Knight :wink:
What do Australian men like in their women?
Inner Beauty.
If it's inn'er, Beauty!
Another little Johnny one.
The teacher stands at the front of the room and says listen children, i would like you to use the word urinate in a sentence.
Sally quicly sticks up her hand and says I have one.
Ok says the teacher Sally lets hear it.
"When our dog needs to urinate he cocks he leg on the wheels of our car"
Thats good says the teachers.
At this stage Johnny is nearly doing laps of the room trying to get the teachers attention.
Ok says the teacher what have you got Johnny?
"Well my dad says youre an eight but if you had bigger boobs youd be a ten" says johnny
Matt