It's OK we're willing to take that risk.....Quote:
Originally posted by DiscoTDI
unfortunatley the blonde jokes I know will get me arrested :wink:
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It's OK we're willing to take that risk.....Quote:
Originally posted by DiscoTDI
unfortunatley the blonde jokes I know will get me arrested :wink:
Im not allowed, SWMBO is blonde :mrgreen:
Quote:
Originally posted by DiscoTDI
Im not allowed, SWMBO is blonde :mrgreen:
They tell me when blondes die their hair brown its like artificial intelligence. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] Matt
Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every summer in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's shivering and shaking. The other flea asks him, " Why are you shaking so badly?" The first flea says, " I rode down here from New Jersey in the mustache of a guy on a Harley." The other flea responds saying, " That's the worst way to travel. Try what I do. Go to the New Jersey airport bar, have a few drinks. While you are there, look for a nice stewardess. Crawl up her leg and nestle in where its warm and cozy. Its the best way to travel that I can think of."
The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next summer. A year goes by..... When the first flea shows up in Miami he is shivering and shaking again. The second flea says, "Didn't you try what I told you?" "Yes," says the first flea, "I did exactly as you said. I went to the New Jersey airport bar. I had a few drinks. Finally, this nice young stewardess came in. I crawled right up to her warm cozy spot. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was back in the mustache of a guy on a Harley."
[img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]Quote:
Originally posted by DiscoTDI
Two fleas had an arrangement to meet every summer in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's shivering and shaking. The other flea asks him, " Why are you shaking so badly?" The first flea says, " I rode down here from New Jersey in the mustache of a guy on a Harley." The other flea responds saying, " That's the worst way to travel. Try what I do. Go to the New Jersey airport bar, have a few drinks. While you are there, look for a nice stewardess. Crawl up her leg and nestle in where its warm and cozy. Its the best way to travel that I can think of."
The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next summer. A year goes by..... When the first flea shows up in Miami he is shivering and shaking again. The second flea says, "Didn't you try what I told you?" "Yes," says the first flea, "I did exactly as you said. I went to the New Jersey airport bar. I had a few drinks. Finally, this nice young stewardess came in. I crawled right up to her warm cozy spot. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was back in the mustache of a guy on a Harley."
Worth a watch:
http://www.bleacheatingfreaks.com/files/Ne.../harassment.wmv
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: October 01, 2004
>
> RE: Christmas Party
>
> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
> place on December 23, starting at noon
> in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash
> bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional
> carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO
> shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00
> pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time;
> however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy
> for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO
> will make a special announcement at
> that time!
>
> Merry Christmas to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> ================================================== ====
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: October 12, 2004
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
> employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
> often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
> However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
> policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those
> still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
>
> There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We
> will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
>
> Happy now?
>
> Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>
> Patty
>
> ================================================== ====
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All Employees
>
> DATE: October 23, 2004
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
> requesting a non-drinking table . you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
> to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
> "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to
> handle this?
>
> Somebody?
>
> Forget about the gifts exchange; no gifts are allowed since the union
> members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
> $10.00 is a little chintzy.
>
> NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
>
> ================================================== ====
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> To: All Employees
>
> DATE: November 04, 2004
>
> RE: Holiday Party
>
> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the
> Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
> daylight hours.
>
> Well, there goes the party!
>
> Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does
> not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House
> can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party, or else
> package everything for you to take home in little foil doggy baggies.
>
> Will that work?
>
> Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
> from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest
> to the restrooms.
>
> Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit
> with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be
> flower arrangement for the Gay men's table. To the person asking
> permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.
>
> We will have booster seats for short people.
>
> Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control
> the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood
> pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for
> Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
>
> Did I miss anything?!?!?
>
> Patty
>
> ================================================== ====
>
> FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
>
> TO: All ****ing Employees
>
> DATE: November 29, 2004
>
> RE: The ****ing Holiday Party
>
> Vegetarian ******, I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
> this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can
> sit quietly at the table furthest from the "Grill of Death," as you so
> quaintly put it, and you'll get your ****ing salad bar, including
> organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. THEY
> SCREAM WHEN YOU SLICE THEM! I've heard them SCREAM!!! I'm hearing
> them scream right NOW!!!
>
> I hope you all have a rotten holiday! DRIVE DRUNK AND DIE!!!!!!
>
> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!
>
>
> ================================================== ====
> FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
>
> DATE: December 02, 2004
>
> RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
>
> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
> and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium.
> In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
> give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
>
> Happy Holidays!
The Gold Coast Surf Classic was won this week under contraversial circumstances .................................................. .......................Wait for it
by an indonesian on a wardrobe
NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL FUNNY
I thought it was a tree [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]
Or even a car. MattQuote:
Originally posted by DiscoTDI
I thought it was a tree [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif[/img]