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Thread: Elder abuse..

  1. #1
    cafe latte Guest

    Elder abuse..

    My old mate Ken is 86, his Filipino wife is in her 50's. She told him a couple of years ago that they were just living in the same house and it was nothing more. In this time things in the house have got worse and worse. She told him she wanted a divorce so I arranged him a solicitor. He has been loosing weight big time for some time so I arranged him meals on wheels, the start of the big problems..
    I find out she has been having fun if you know what I mean with the meals on wheels guy he has blabbed to her.. She told him if he goes to a solicitor she will make sure he gets nothing, she also said he needs to go to her solicitor and sign some papers basically giving her everything and then he wont loose his house. Ken is scared and cancelled his appointment with his solicitor and he did not get his meals on wheels this evening either so he made a sandwich which is not a meal. He wants to believe what she says, but I know she is having an affair and she is just after his money.
    She found out I was helping him and went to the Police!! The Police I know personally as I am a fire fighter and they told her I had done nothing wrong as making an appointment meals on wheels and booking a solicitor is not a crime. She went home throwing all sorts of stuff like platesnd vases at Ken as she had not had any luck with the Police, what do I do now to help?
    Ken has been a great mate to me he still has all his marbles but he wants a quite lfe. She is trying to drive him to an early grave (he for her has lived too long). Ken is like a Grandfather, what can I do to help?
    Thanks
    Chris

  2. #2
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    Mate, get in touch with this people ( Help with Elder Abuse ) tomorrow morning and see if he can be moved from there without any legal implications towards him.
    Make sure that he has all the medicines and take him to the Dr to see if he is Ok.
    Do not leave him alone for to long.
    My best wishes
    Arthur.

  3. #3
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    go to the coppers....
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by incisor View Post
    go to the coppers....
    Yep and have her charged with assault

  5. #5
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    It might be useful to ring the Queensland elder abuse hotline ( google it) To start with.
    Secondly i would go to the solicitor with him asap. He is very vulnerable to the psychological, social , financial and emotional abuse from this woman. It is a case of domestic violence and these things tend to escalate.
    He needs support to **** her off and to protect his assetts. You are a good mate to be looking out for him dont let this woman spook you with silly threats.
    I would also make sure the police know what she is doing to him and maybe some kind of order could be put in place. In any case the priority is his safety and then his mental health and then his assetts IMO.
    Just to reiterate-he needs support to extricate himself here-this will be hard on him esp at his age. Does he have supportive kids?

  6. #6
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    assuming he wants the help

    first get him out of there take a friend with you with a camera rcord everything. do it on a week day early in the morning and have a drs appointment made for him in the mid after noon Don't worry about the the medication cloth or anything excpt for his phone, house keys and the cloths on his back. let the doc know why you're making the appointment ahead of time and if hes got a regular pharmasist word him up too.

    put him up somewhere safe for the night, your place will do.

    once youve got that done, you can start the process to initiate AVO's recovering his gear and extricating her from the house and everything else. youve taken the most effective and most immediate action possible and bought time to work things out later.

    UNDER NO CIRCUMTANCES.

    allow anything come between the gentleman in questions and his perception of safety and friendship.
    Dave

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  7. #7
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    I have seen a similar thing with an acquaintence of mine , but with a much younger phillipino woman.

    I have seen some angry women but boy, angry filipinas are really angry.

    He arranged his divorce very quickly , flew her back to the Phillipines but unfortunately lost his beautiful daughter.

    She said he'll never see his daughter again and he hasn't been able to find them.

    I'm not putting a slur on filipinas , just that the scenario was similar.

  8. #8
    cafe latte Guest
    Thanks guys,
    I took him last week to the community center and he had an interview with a counsellor and he told her everything. I then took him with her advice to get his own bank account and change his pension so it goes in his own account not hers. After last night I am worrried about this as when she finds out she is going to go totally nuts. He told me just because I arranged meal on wheels for him (she does not cook for him and he was not eating) she was throwing pots, pans plates and vases at him.
    He is afraid to see his own solicitor as when she found this out she went nuts telling him if he went there she could get him out of the house and he would get nothing. I have tried to tell him how much he needs to get his own legal advice but I cant make him do what he does not want to do.
    I contacted someone at the community center last night, she told me to ring this other lady this morning. She is going to call Ken and ask him to come in for a follow up interview just to see how he is getting on and try to get it all in his own words.
    Then she said they can take it from there, he himself needs to tell them what is going on.
    I hope he is going to be ok he has been a good mate for years I cant bear to see him end his last few years like this.
    Chris

  9. #9
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    I'm filo. I'm not 100% proud to say it but more than half of the filos only date whites for $$$$$. Hope everything works out for him

  10. #10
    DiscoMick Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by cafe latte View Post
    Thanks guys,
    I took him last week to the community center and he had an interview with a counsellor and he told her everything. I then took him with her advice to get his own bank account and change his pension so it goes in his own account not hers. After last night I am worrried about this as when she finds out she is going to go totally nuts. He told me just because I arranged meal on wheels for him (she does not cook for him and he was not eating) she was throwing pots, pans plates and vases at him.
    He is afraid to see his own solicitor as when she found this out she went nuts telling him if he went there she could get him out of the house and he would get nothing. I have tried to tell him how much he needs to get his own legal advice but I cant make him do what he does not want to do.
    I contacted someone at the community center last night, she told me to ring this other lady this morning. She is going to call Ken and ask him to come in for a follow up interview just to see how he is getting on and try to get it all in his own words.
    Then she said they can take it from there, he himself needs to tell them what is going on.
    I hope he is going to be ok he has been a good mate for years I cant bear to see him end his last few years like this.
    Chris

    You've done very well for him - a great friend. He definitely needs to see his own solicitor to make sure she does not take him down for everything. He must not let her talk him out of that.
    He has many rights which she cannot break, no matter what she says or does. If there are no children to support then the most likely result is a 50:50 division of assets, with variations possible based on their relative contributions to building up those assets. He needs a good family law lawyer to advise on that.
    He should also make a complaint to the police about her assaulting him. That will put it on the official record, which could be important later when the terms of the divorce are being negotiated.

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