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[Toxic_Avenger]

Mini Poll- Scruncher or folder?
Next 3 posts only (at risk of being on topic)

[digger]

Not included in the three posts..

How to Wipe Using One Sheet of Toilet Paper

How to wipe yourself using just one sheet of toilet paper.

[V8Ian]

I tried to write poetry, a little bit of prose
I sat and strained and tried
My sweat was up, my temperature rose
In the end "I cant do it Ian", I cried.

You see, I sat up constipated at my desk,
I concentrated so hard 'til I went blue
Everything I did came out grotesque
Including that I strained so hard that I pooed!

So now I sit alone, in a cloud of stinking vapour
With nothing at all written of any class
I fear the words that I did put upon the paper
Will smudge when I wipe my ass!

The embarrasment of failure was undenied
I had tried around the clock
again I started and again failed and cried
(but at least it cleared my crappy "writers block" !!)

Sorry its all I could do!

Brilliant Digger, I love it. At school I absolutely detested poetry, "Daffodils" and all that type of guff. Then we read Banjo's "Gebung Polo Club". It made me realise that poems didn't have to be stiff, stuffy and straight. At high school I discovered more of AB's brilliance and was immediately hooked. This led on to an appreciation of Henry Lawson and lesser known Australian poets. My enjoyment of bush poetry comes from the connection and relevance to me. It doesn't have to be a literary masterpiece, it has to capture me and show me things that I can see.
In a nutshell, I'm saying your work piddles on Keats, Longfellow et al; but before you pull the pin on your day job, remember I'm a truckie not a literary critic.
Thanks mate, love your work.
I have here both AB's and Lawson's complete (poetic) works.

[Homestar]

Scruncher

[mikehzz]

I thought there were a few clangers in Digger's almost excellent poem. Blue and pooed don't rhyme....nothing more needs to be said on that, a cut and dried case of poetic licence. The second clanger is class and ass. I suppose there are regional variations in pronunciation, and perhaps a poll is in order, but for me, class rhymes with arse, the one and only truely English term for a backside. Unless of course he was wiping his donkey? That would certainly smudge his paper as well.
A brilliant last line Digger, "cleared my crappy writers block" ties right in with the constipation theme, however, I'm having an existential crisis reading a literary work from a writer with writers block. From a marketing point of view, Digger is a great stage name for a new Australian pop poet sensation.
9/10 Concentrate on your rhymes.

[cuppabillytea]

I fold, then I fold again. Two wipes for six sheets.

[cuppabillytea]

Not included in the three posts..

How to Wipe Using One Sheet of Toilet Paper

How to wipe yourself using just one sheet of toilet paper.

Tried that. Didn't work. Must require a high fibre diet. Not roast beef and Guinness.
Cheers Billy.

[V8Ian]

Mini Poll- Scruncher or folder?
Next 3 posts only (at risk of being on topic)

Loaded question, you need to cover all options.

[Outback 1]

Was that a quick brush with continuity

Sent from my SM-G900F using AULRO mobile app

[Avion8]

This thread looks like it is going down the toilet!