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Thread: An apology.... again...

  1. #1
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    An apology.... again...

    Recently, I created a thread about a documentary I wished to share. I believed then, and still believe now that it is something worth your while watching. Obviously some folk disagree. Fine. I find it difficult to accept that folk will attack something BEFORE they see it, but that happens all the time these days.
    In the ensuing ‘debate’ I voiced opinions, which I stand by. However, I was quite abusive to some. That is not normally me. I have become quite vocal in the past few years as I despair at where this social media groupthink is taking us. But that doesn’t excuse my behaviour that night.
    I’d like to explain a little. I have a problem with alcohol. It became far worse when my partner died and I was left almost totally alone, for four years now. When I began that thread I had been looking forward to the video, and had been imbibing in anticipation. I simply could not understand the negativity towards something I thought to be important, and I said things I regret.
    I am saying this to offer reasons. There is no excuse for my behaviour. If I offended you I hope you can accept my apology and at some time forgive me.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

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  2. #2
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    No apology needed, in my view. If people feel offended, 99% of the time it's their problem.
    Who cares, anyway? This is a forum, not a guns and knives free for all. You know, the old "Sticks and Stones".
    'sit bonum tempora volvunt'


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    Didn't notice?

    Jonesfam

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saitch View Post
    No apology needed, in my view. If people feel offended, 99% of the time it's their problem.
    Who cares, anyway? This is a forum, not a guns and knives free for all. You know, the old "Sticks and Stones".
    It was needed. I was pretty obnoxious. I do not apologise for the sentiments or opinions, just for the way I delivered them. But thanks.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
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  5. #5
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    Forums are notoriously bad places for stating strong opinions, almost to a rule it will attract diametrically opposed opinions.

    Face to face is much better way to try and get to a robust result without as much distress.

    And of course we are all somewhat biased by our personal experiences in life, which also makes it difficult, particularly when we can't see things from another perspective due to emotion, stress, etc..... Which EVERYONE is experiencing.

    And remember... As Simon and Garfunkel sang..

    " a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.."

    Cue disagreement...

    That's all of us from time to time.

    Cheers
    James

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    Quote Originally Posted by shack View Post
    Forums are notoriously bad places for stating strong opinions, almost to a rule it will attract diametrically opposed opinions.

    Face to face is much better way to try and get to a robust result without as much distress.

    And of course we are all somewhat biased by our personal experiences in life, which also makes it difficult, particularly when we can't see things from another perspective due to emotion, stress, etc..... Which EVERYONE is experiencing.

    And remember... As Simon and Garfunkel sang..

    " a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.."

    Cue disagreement...

    That's all of us from time to time.

    Cheers
    James
    "For a pocket full of mumbles
    Such are promises."

    The Boxer. Brilliant song. Timely, as it was one of Jan's faves.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by shack View Post
    Forums are notoriously bad places for stating strong opinions, almost to a rule it will attract diametrically opposed opinions.


    James
    I didn't actually set out to state opinions, strong or otherwise. I merely suggested folk view a vid. Sure, the opinions expressed in that vid were strong, but surely someone would need to view it to know that. I had the luxury of a sneak peek.

    But the spiral was downwards from there.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
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  8. #8
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    A lot of people are not able admit their issues/problems, the fact that you are able to do just that a big step in the right direction.

    About 12 years ago a very good friend of mine passed away following a terrible camp fire accident (l am glad I was not there). His wife of 51 years had passed away several years prior to him from the dreaded rust and he went down the same path, like me he loved the outback deserts but he found himself driving along with a can in his hand at 10'clock in the morning and having more than his fair share over the course of the day. He came to the conclusion that it would not be right for his wife if he were to injure someone or himself because of his drinking, So although he did not stop altogether he seriously cut down. My mate Clarie and I did an awful lot of great outback miles together and he was and always will be a great mate.

    You will of course chose which direction you choose and I dont often make these comments on the forum, but as some will and have already said we are all here to listen..

    Geoff

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldGuy View Post
    A lot of people are not able admit their issues/problems, the fact that you are able to do just that a big step in the right direction.

    About 12 years ago a very good friend of mine passed away following a terrible camp fire accident (l am glad I was not there). His wife of 51 years had passed away several years prior to him from the dreaded rust and he went down the same path, like me he loved the outback deserts but he found himself driving along with a can in his hand at 10'clock in the morning and having more than his fair share over the course of the day. He came to the conclusion that it would not be right for his wife if he were to injure someone or himself because of his drinking, So although he did not stop altogether he seriously cut down. My mate Clarie and I did an awful lot of great outback miles together and he was and always will be a great mate.

    You will of course chose which direction you choose and I dont often make these comments on the forum, but as some will and have already said we are all here to listen..

    Geoff
    Thank you. When I learnt that Jan was going to die I started a thread on here. ( Wish me luck, please.. ). Doing that was the beginning of learning that speaking out, and crying, is much tougher than keeping things in. I've been having counselling ever since. If I don't admit to my issues I'm only fooling myself. I've come a long way. Alcohol dependence is the big one for me. Unlike your friend, I don't drink in the daytime, I don't drink when I drive. Please, I don't judge, I am not him. What I do is start drinking at night when I am utterly alone. Sometimes that goes way too far. Substance abuse, of any kind, is a behaviour that is very difficult to beat alone. I have tried on a number of occasions to enrol in programs to deal with it recently, but it seems that a certain situation that we are no longer allowed to discuss has overloaded those that do this. Just another consequence of heads in sands thinking.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
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  10. #10
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    In all of this, through all of what we have been through, what I was trying to highlight, the video I was trying to get folk to watch... In June 2016 I lost my job as the mob I worked for went under. Fine I thought. At that time mum was 97. I didn't really want to be in Townsville in a B Double if things went south. I took my meagre super and decided to stay home. So, for around five years I looked after mum. There were carers, after a fight with MyAgedCare, to wipe her bum, but I did everything else. In that five years Jan died. In that five years I struggled to cope with all of everything. In the end I was unable to cope with the pressure sores mum developed. If you have seen those you'll know. So mum, at this time 102 years old, went to hospital. I had promised this would not happen, but where is the choice? Hospital had her for a couple of weeks, refused to let her come home, into a "care facility" she went. You know what happened next? I was refused admission to visit her, this woman that brought me into this world, who loved me, breast fed me, looked after me and held me when I was hurt. This woman who stood by me at any cost. At the end I was trying to repay that, because I loved her. I was refused because of the virus I am not allowed to mention due to some advertising issue. She was 102 yo, she died on Easter Sunday, and I was not allowed to visit. Because I might infect her. She died alone because of petty people, and I will not apologise for my anger about that.

    The system is ****ed. People who support the system are ****ed. My opinion and I will not resile from it.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.

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