Jokes

The garbologist was doing his usual round and noticed that one of the houses that hadn’t had it’s bin out for a few months, was occupied again
As he came up to the house, the front door opened and a bloke walks out
He stopped the truck and yells out
“Hey buddy, where’s your bin”
The house occupant replies
“I bin on holiday”
The driver, a bit dumbfounded from the response says
“Nah, your BIN. Where’s your bin”
The occupant replies
“Like I says, I bin on holiday”
The truck driver, getting a bit frustrated says
“Where’s your wheely bin”
The occupant thinks he’s been sprung and says
“I wheely bin in jail, but I just tell people I bin on holiday”



*Joke modified to make it indiscriminative

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gav 110

The garbologist was doing his usual round and noticed that one of the houses that hadn’t had it’s bin out for a few months, was occupied again
As he came up to the house, the front door opened and a bloke walks out
He stopped the truck and yells out
“Hey buddy, where’s your bin”
The house occupant replies
“I bin on holiday”
The driver, a bit dumbfounded from the response says
“Nah, your BIN. Where’s your bin”
The occupant replies
“Like I says, I bin on holiday”
The truck driver, getting a bit frustrated says
“Where’s your wheely bin”
The occupant thinks he’s been sprung and says
“I wheely bin in jail, but I just tell people I bin on holiday”



*Joke modified to make it indiscriminative

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A variation to that was the garbo knocking on the door & asking the lady of the house, Where's your bin"

LotH. I'se bin on the bed with my lover,wheres you bin?"

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When I was younger, panic buying was when the barman called last drinks[emoji481]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gav 110

When I was younger, panic buying was when the barman called last drinks[emoji481]

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That was about 5:50pm here. Just in time for the "six o'clock swill" as it was known here. Maybe other places as well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 4bee

That was about 5:50pm here. Just in time for the "six o'clock swill" as it was known here. Maybe other places as well.

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Yep, was an NZ thing also. Happy! Happy! Happy!

https://www.parliament.nz/media/4451...n-the-home.jpg

Nescafe manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers 'Your Eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
The Pope responds, 'That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed.'
'Well,' said the Nescafe man, 'we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.'
'My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed.'
The Nescafe guy says, 'Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer…. We will
Donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.' Please consider it.'
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.
'There is some good news,' he announces, 'and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'
'And the bad news your Holiness?' asks a Cardinal.

'We're losing the Bakers Delight account.'

I bumped into a bloke the other day and he told me he was pumping helium into animals.

I said "whatever floats your goat".