Jokes

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by 3toes

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The more things change.....

My wife asked me why I spoke so quietly at home.


I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerburg was listening.


She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed and Siri laughed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by d2dave;[URL="tel:3181111"

3181111[/URL]]My wife asked me why I spoke so quietly at home.


I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerburg was listening.


She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed and Siri laughed.

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And Google adjusted your social credit rating.

My Grandson made the mistake of telling me I was overdramatic, so I changed the wi fi password.

We'll see who is overdramatic in about 5 minutes.

Kathy was shopping in the mall with her two children and a display in the window of a lingerie store caught her eye.
"Do you think Daddy would like this?" she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.
"No way," four-year-old Rian replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!

Aleo, Arial and Helvetica walk into a bar and the barman says "Sorry we don't serve your type here".

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a fine restaurant.


"I'm sorry" says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group.
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"But you can't come in here without a Thai".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by austastar

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a fine restaurant.


"I'm sorry" says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group.
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.
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.
.
"But you can't come in here without a Thai".

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I guess the Cameroonian wasn't hungry.

The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000.
Great. I’ll start later.