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A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.
"No I did not," the doctor said.
"So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead."
The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way.
The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere.
It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
Bloke I knew in Qld "retired" from a big job at fosters to run the general store where I was. Closest he'd been to rural Qld was the view from his office window... One day he was mowing, and he got a tick lodged in that region... He had heard that they could be dislodged with turps, and got his wife to apply copious quantities.Quote:
Originally Posted by NavyDiver
Speaking of heard, the whole township heard his screams. 40 years ago and I still chuckle.
In the North Queensland tropics, there is a little mite known as 'Scrub Itch', of which a complete, extended family (of what seems like hundreds), loves to inhabit the pubic area.
After several uncomfortable episodes with the affliction, I discovered that the best remedy was the multiple application of a commercial "Crab Lotion", available from the local chemist in Airlie.
As other afflicted workmates quite often availed themselves of my "Lotion", I had to restock occasionally. I'm sure the chemist staff thought that I was a bit loose with my sexual favours, until I enlightened them.
