Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by austastar

Hi,
Drove the camper round it in '76; can't say it was in any way exciting.
Cheers

I was there in '76 for the race. Got arrested.

Originally Posted by austastar

Hi,
Drove the camper round it in '76; can't say it was in any way exciting.
Cheers

A wee confession here. In '07 my wife and I did a 'Lap of the Mountain' in our mighty D1 tdi!

On the drive, I commented to my nav. that "It's nothing like you see on the tele!".

About 500 metres further along, I realised that we were going in the opposite direction to the racers.

Earlier this year, ChookD2 had the grace to escort me on a lap, in our D3s.

As well as going in the correct direction, I broke my existing lap record in the D3, too!

Originally Posted by Saitch

A wee confession here. In '07 my wife and I did a 'Lap of the Mountain' in our mighty D1 tdi!

Not sure about going the wrong way, but if you went the correct way I reckon in a 300 Tdi tdi you would have needed low range to get through the cutting

My first year was 1976 and the last was 1985 when they stopped us from erecting scaffolding.

I did walk the track one year.

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big departmentstore looking for a job.
The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow.I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After thestore was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.How much was the sale for?"
Kid says, "$101,237.64."
Boss says, "$101,237.64? What did you sell him?"
Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.

A gambler was at the horse races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt. He noticed a priest step out onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.Next race, as the horses lined up, the priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses.The punter made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race.He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless next. He bet big on it, and it won. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shots, and each one ended up winning.The punter was elated. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his winnings, and awaited for the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag. The punter knew he had a winner and bet every penny he owned on the old nag.He watched dumbfounded as the old nag came in last. In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the priest was. Confronting him, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every penny of my winnings!The priest nodded wisely and said with sympathy, ˜My Son, that's the problem with you Non believers, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last rites.'

A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I think it's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I've got to stop telling people that I like their Halloween mask or make-up, only to find they're not wearing any!

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