Thread: Jokes

The dyslexic agnostic imsomniac stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper. He kept praying to Santa.

My neighbours listen to great music.
Whether they like it, or not!

A young first time mum to be was at the pre natal clinic. She eventually got into a conversation with a few other mums that had already had children in the past. The young mum to be asked if there was any way that she could find out what the sex of her baby was going to be as she desperately wanted to know, even though her husband had insisted that it be a surprise.
One of the mothers asked her if she by chance remembered the occasion on which she fell pregnant, to which the young mum to be said that she did. Well said the other mum, if your husband was on top then male dominant, you will have a little boy. If you were on top that is female dominant and you will have a little girl.
All of a sudden the young mum to be burst into tears. What is wrong asked the older mum?
I'M GOING TO HAVE PUPPIES

Originally Posted by Spartacus

A young first time mum to be was at the pre natal clinic. She eventually got into a conversation with a few other mums that had already had children in the past. The young mum to be asked if there was any way that she could find out what the sex of her baby was going to be as she desperately wanted to know, even though her husband had insisted that it be a surprise.
One of the mothers asked her if she by chance remembered the occasion on which she fell pregnant, to which the young mum to be said that she did. Well said the other mum, if your husband was on top then male dominant, you will have a little boy. If you were on top that is female dominant and you will have a little girl.
All of a sudden the young mum to be burst into tears. What is wrong asked the older mum?
I'M GOING TO HAVE PUPPIES

ROTFLMFAO

Once upon a time there lived a King who had the most beautiful daughter.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what:
Metal
Wood
Stone
Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The King despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the King,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'

The King was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the King's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the Princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the Princess touched them, they melted.

He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the Princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'

The Princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt some thing very hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The King was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

And the Prince married the Princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the Prince's pants????

Answer Below






















M&M's of course! They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What on earth were you thinking?

On a recent trip to Thailand, two Thai girls asked if I wanted to sleep with them.
They said ‘it would be like winning the lottery’.

They were right!!! We had six matching balls!