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Thread: Jokes

  1. #9141
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    what about " London Fog " Never lifts

  2. #9142
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    I worked with a bloke in his early 30s, whom I called Ötzi. The amount of experience he'd garnered and the number of jobs he'd worked in, would have been impossible, even for a Centenarian!
    'sit bonum tempora volvunt'


  3. #9143
    austastar's Avatar
    austastar is offline YarnMaster Silver Subscriber
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    G Spot; nobody can find him.
    Cheers

  4. #9144
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    Worked with a bloke I called Opium, slow working dope. Having never tried that particular substance I can’t say how accurate it was.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.

  5. #9145
    NavyDiver's Avatar
    NavyDiver is offline Very Very Lucky! Gold Subscriber
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    I am dating again after my divorce. Out last year I brought a few drinks and was having fun with a beautiful young lady. It felt amazing and I talked a lot and she listened and smiled a lot. It was a beautiful experience and lifted my spirits.


    We chatted about how I would soon inherit my dying father's substantial estate, and how WE would be set for life! The lady was most impressed. So much so, that within the month - she had agreed to marry!




    Marry my dad, that is...

  6. #9146
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    I downloaded the 'Titanic' sound track, but couldn't get it to work.

    It took me a while to work out that I had to sync it!
    'sit bonum tempora volvunt'


  7. #9147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saitch View Post
    I downloaded the 'Titanic' sound track, but couldn't get it to work.

    It took me a while to work out that I had to sync it!
    You have to break it in half first as well.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.

  8. #9148
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tins View Post
    Worked with a bloke I called Opium, slow working dope. Having never tried that particular substance I can’t say how accurate it was.
    I work with a bloke they call Milo......not quik

  9. #9149
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    I think the signs at 4wd parks showing track difficulty are confusing as who really knows what blue square 🟦, black diamond, double black diamond etc mean, far better to rate tracks by how many spare pairs of underpants might be required 🩲, or 🩲 🩲, or 🩲 🩲 🩲.
    2005 D3 TDV6 Present
    1999 D2 TD5 Gone

  10. #9150
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    NavyDiver is offline Very Very Lucky! Gold Subscriber
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    Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a 4th grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
    The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'
    So our illustrious POTUS asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
    One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
    "No," said Trump, "that would be an accident."
    A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."
    "I'm afraid not," explained Trump. "That's what we would call great loss."
    The room went silent. No other child volunteered. Trump searched the room.
    "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
    Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher held her breath.
    In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."
    "Fantastic!" exclaimed Trump, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
    "Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss... and you can bet your sweet ass it wouldn't be an accident either!"
    The teacher left the room

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