Thread: You're not in the forces now..... A chat about impacts of when and why some have ....

Originally Posted by Saitch

Is the term "Veteran" a newish thing? I can't recall it being used by my father, his mates or my rellies.

They used the terms, "Returned Serviceman", "Ex-serviceman" or "Ex-digger".

Also, sadly, I knew of a couple of blokes who were in Viet Nam and who would get a bit stroppy if you were to say to them, "Thank you for your service!"

I like thank you. "Thank you for your service!" popped up a few years ago. Its feels weird having it said to me! I appreciate the sentiment gesture despite my discomfort.

Ex- Pusser or Ex Matlow fits this black duck

What Den said moves me to post this. Around 7 years ago ( not quite ) I started a thread here. I had just learned that my wife was quite ill. I was terrified, with good reason as it happened. Two months later she was dead, and I was alone. You learn a lot about who your "friends" are.

That thread, which some of you may recall, was probably seen as self indulgent, but at the time, between the learning and the final day, sitting here, with no one to talk to, it seemed that AULRO was my only outlet. I have to say, the amount of support, both sympathetic and empathetic, was astonishing, and humbling. I will be forever grateful.

Anyway, a journey began. It wasn't a journey I am proud of. I was always a bit of a drinker, but without Jan to temper me I dug a hole, filled it with booze, and jumped in. I became what is best described as a high functioning alcoholic. If not for regular counselling, and the need to care for my very elderly mother I doubt I would still be alive. When mum died I really let go. I stayed on here, and no doubt I was often quite rude. For that I apologise.

The counselling I mentioned came from two places. The first was a sponsored year of grief counselling, which also led to regular psychological sessions. These were funded by Medicare, 10 a year. This doubled due to the mental health concerns that arose out of that which shall not be named but hat the number 19 in it. This added support was later withdrawn. I still see "Andrew" regularly, but these days the DVA fund him. Until last year I had no idea that a DVA White Card was a thing.

A theme on this thread is that we should talk. Indeed. That is what I was doing, back on 21/11/2017 when I started that thread. That was totally out of character for me, but I learnt how vital it is. Bottling stuff up, as men so often do, is not tough, it's stupid.

What prompts me to say all this, apart from Den's post, is that today marks the second anniversary of me giving up alcohol. I have no idea how I did this. I had no help. I didn't use AA. I just did. I am proud of that. And it took away a number of "blinkers" I had. It also opened up new paths which I will now travel on. And it allowed me to see other things, including help from such entities as the DVA. They don't advertise.

I will have to follow up some of the stuff you mentioned, Den. I have recently discovered that I am pre diabetic, and have also seen a diabetes educator, and had numerous scans. I also have to have another CT to follow up something they saw last year when they were X-raying my broken back. I will be 71 next month. So far I had managed to stay out of the clutches of the doctors... But, if Jan had not done the same, and had had regular checkups, they would probably have detected the hep C that eventually killed her, so the doctors will be seeing me more often.

A while back I tried to get a mental health sub forum going on here. I understand how fraught such a thing could be. Threads like this one will have to do. I have learned a lot about why things are. As Lionel could tell us, the roots are far deeper than military service, but a lot is explained.

Once again, thanks James.