what to do with kids today

so your paying $4914 comprehensive insurance for your daughter

assume you contributed to the cost of her car as well, you dont say how many thousands that cost you.

question is have you learnt your lesson

1. She is 18 or nearly 18 you cannot tell her what to do, you can advise her you can talk to her, but you cannot tell her what to do.

2. car was her's registered and insured in her name, not your's, if she wanted to let a friend drive it, that's her decision and any outcomes from that decision is her's to deal with.

3. she should make a decision on what she going to do now and if she decides to approach you for help, your going to need to make a decision on what help if any your going to give her.

4. I would carefully read the insurance policy, my guess is it may be she has no cover if the policy was to cover your daughter only as under 18 driver. That means no insurance money going to come her way at all.

5. your daughter may need to sue her friend driving the car to recover her losses as if the insurance company denies liability its the only way she goign to get any money to cover her losses.

6. your a parent, you going to want to do whatever is best for your child, that may mean helping out financially it may mean saying tough love time and saying you made a bad decision, you lied about your actions, you didnt take appropriate steps to protect your car, suffer the consequences.

cartm58
1993 range rover

I have 5 daughters ranging in age from 27 to 6 years old....the older ones left school before all this schoolies hype came into being.......the six year old has been told, my the Mama, "Forget schoolies week Kid, cos ya not going"....:D

I think the major issue I would have with this is the breach of trust.....

Okay! accidents happen and luckily no-one was seriously hurt...but they could have......my attitude has always been that I would be really upset if anything happened to one of my girls, and the person who did it ...well their future happiness would be seriously compromised....but I would rather they be killed then to finish up as a paraplegic.

I would be zeroing in on the fact that the child felt she had to lie to you rather then trust you with the truth and the consequence araising from telling you........so she thinks she is all 'growed up' and can make sound decisions for her self.......well let her...she can now make the decisions about how to get the car home, how to get it fixed, deal with the Insurance coy, pursue the other driver for the excess, how she is going to get to Uni, Replacement of the vehicle, how she is going to pay for it ( Oh I am very sorry my love, I would love to help you but I bought you a car and look what you did to it, I do not have the money to be buying you vehicles just so you can write them off or acting irresponsibily with them) :wasntme:

I would be telling her that you appreciate that the actual accident was not her fault, but she did contribute to it, if she had not lied about not taking the vehicle, she would still have a car, How hurt you feel that she felt that it was necessary to lie to you, her Mum and her step-dad.

I have always told my girls that the finest quality they can possess is to tell the truth......You can trust a thief, but you can never trust a liar, A thief will steal from you if you give them the opportunity, but a liar well you never know when they are lieing to you.

Obviously when your girl is making all these decision, you are going to be monitoring extremely well to make sure she does not get into too much trouble, cos after all you are her Dad.:)

DD

Think of the positives in the situation, It would of scared her sh1tless therefore she may become a safer driver

And at least she hasn't come back from schoolies pregnant

I'm watching this with interest because it will be my problem too I fear in 15 years time. :eek: :eek:

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Originally Posted by Captain_Rightfoot

I'm watching this with interest because it will be my problem too I fear in 15 years time. :eek: :eek:

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Fortunately, as noted earlier, mine are past this - but in nine years my oldest grand daughter will be old enough for a licence .............

John

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Originally Posted by JDNSW

Fortunately, as noted earlier, mine are past this - but in nine years my oldest grand daughter will be old enough for a licence .............

John

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My daught turned 3 last week. Our plan is to keep them all as close as we can. Landrovering will help with this I hope. 2 month tour de Aus next year here we come :)

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Originally Posted by DirtyDawg

You do the best you can for you kids, don't you, I was brought up pretty poor with an alcholic father who worked for beer more than the family, I had to steal my books from the school book shop just to finish yr12 cause he said after 15 school was a waste of time:mad:

4 weeks ago my 17yr girl got given her first car 1997 VS commodore sdn with factory FE 2 suspension, brand new tyres and 98000 ks on the clock.
3 weeks ago she got her license now on "P" plates and dad paying $189 per fortnight for full comp Insurance under her own name.

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I can see the problem here. Same thing as in our family. You had poor parents and had a ****ty upbringing. So you give your kids everything you wanted when you were their age because you don't want them to suffer like you did. Problem is that as you would know you would have learnt a hell of a lot about life from your upbringing whereas your kids have everything and have learnt nothing about the way the real world works.
I find it affects the youngest kid in the family the most as by that time the parents are generally earning more and the older kids have moved out. So the baby of the family gets whatever they demand (I mean ask for).
So what you do now depends on whether you want her to remain Daddy's little girl (she lied to you) or you want to start teaching how the world works outside of Daddy's protection.

Spoilt kids are a pet hate of mine.

Your her dad.

So you do the right thing.

Say, 'told you so about taking the car to schoolies, too bad'.

Then you buy her a quarterly bus ticket to get to uni.

It was her car, she trashed it, her responsibility.

BTW lucky her for having a generous dad. I've never even owned a car as new as a '97. First offer I had of a car was from stepdad. I turned him down 'cos he was giving me the wreck but refusing to help or teach repairs. Austin A60? whole world full of trouble in an Austin, I wasn't going to get into it without help.

Cheers
Simon

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Originally Posted by abaddonxi

Your her dad.

So you do the right thing.

Say, 'told you so about taking the car to schoolies, too bad'.

Then you buy her a quarterly bus ticket to get to uni.

It was her car, she trashed it, her responsibility.

Cheers
Simon

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Good in theory but as someone else allready posted she'll just get lifts with friends (ie other inexperienced drivers).

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Originally Posted by dobbo

Good in theory but as someone else allready posted she'll just get lifts with friends (ie other inexperienced drivers).

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Sure, and she probably will. You'd hope that she would learn from her mistakes, but I haven't noticed any of the rest of us doing much of it.:D So it would seem a little rich to expect it of her.

The original question was about whether to buy her another car or not.

You can't stop someone from doing something stupid, you can only advise them against it. I think that covers road safety and suicide in one bite.

:D

Cheers
Simon