Thread: what to do with kids today

Originally Posted by DirtyDawg

Do I buy her another car or do I make her save, I feel at the moment to make the bitch earn every cent..what do you guys reckon?

We never bought either of our kids their cars. They had to pay for them themselves - plus all maintenance and repairs.

On top of that, our daughter has been paying her own way through Uni.

Personally I don't believe in parent buying cars for their kids. I bought my own - even my first car when I was 12 years old.

If you buy a replacement, what has she learned?

Originally Posted by DirtyDawg

it wasn't her fault but another "P" plate driver showing off to a commodore full of barbies. She now has a $1500 excess to pay, no car for Uni or work.

Was the other driver in her car or his own? Either way, surely the other driver should be paying for repairs to your daughter's car?

Ron

Ask her what she thinks would be a fair resolution?

You may be surprised at how much responsibility she is willing to take for her actions.

If you're more dismayed than surprised, you could say

"I feel (insert feeling - unappreciated... or whatever) by being lied to (or whatever it is that's upsetting you)." Then wait for a comeback.

You haven't told her she's done wrong, or she's stupid or anything, you've just told her how her actions have made you feel.

- Dr Phil (aka Michael2)

Let her catch public transport for a month or two, then when she has a sense of remorse for what she has done, go and by her a slow old Volvo or something similar, then she can pay you back at X $ amount per week until she has repayed your $1500.00 and the cost of the comode chair.

Best thing my parents ever did for me.


Oh glad to here she's O.K though

Yep, I have to agree with Ron on this one.

I bought my first car in 1988 for $500 off one of dad's uncles (XB Falcon). It was old and needed a bit of work but I was given a lot of help and spare bits for free from dad.

Mind you......I did nearly write-off his Range Rover into a house 2 days after a got my liscence. He was really good about that but it definately prompted the "Buy your own car you are not using ours" talk!

Sorry to hear mate

but to be frank with you she will get money from the insurance company

did you buy your first car i did both and my older step kids have even bought their first cars my son from a previous relationship bought his own car

they need to stand on their own two feet sooner or latter

and i dont know how many kids you have but it could get expensive in the future

good luck on your choice it will be hard what ever you choose to do

This event must have put the portal's back a week or two!!!!

Originally Posted by DirtyDawg

You do the best you can for you kids, don't you, I was brought up pretty poor with an alcholic father who worked for beer more than the family, I had to steal my books from the school book shop just to finish yr12 cause he said after 15 school was a waste of time

4 weeks ago my 17yr girl got given her first car 1997 VS commodore sdn with factory FE 2 suspension, brand new tyres and 98000 ks on the clock.
3 weeks ago she got her license now on "P" plates and dad paying $189 per fortnight for full comp Insurance under her own name.

2 weeks ago she got a part time job at subway 3 days/nights aweek till Uni starts.
1 week ago she was finishing her final exams and told me her friend and she were catching a coach to Busselton for leavers week

2 days ago her mother informed me that she had written her car off in Bussleton with four friends in it luckily no one was hurt, allthough I used my police contacts to find out what happened it wasn';t her fault but another "P" plate driver showing off to a commodore full of barbies.

She now has a $1500 excess to pay, no car for Uni or work.

I'm upset in the fact she blatantly lied to me, there never was a coach, her mother and step dad told her not to take the car aswell.
What should I do..hose older member who have the wisdom of hindsight in regards to older teenagers I would love to here some suggestions as these days you can't be too harsh with them as they just top themselves
anyone else with sensible suggestions feel free to chip in as I'm at odds.

Do I buy her another car or do I make her save, I feel at the moment to make the bitch earn every cent..what do you guys reckon?

If I read correctly the car was insured, so the only out of pocket should be the excess? I would be inclined to say she should get a cheaper car - one quite unsuitable for showing off but suitable for commuting.

It has been a few years (about 1990) since I was there - my elder son seriously wrote off my wife's (uninsured) car and seriously damaged its (insured) replacement a few months later just after getting his P plates. Got him a twenty year old small car, which he managed not to have an accident in, nor has since in its replacement which he bought new with his own money after graduating and starting work. His younger brother only managed minor damage while parking, and the only accidents he has had since have been kangaroos.

Don't know if this helps,

John

I reckon buy her another car and have her agree to a sum of money to pay off it each week/fortnight. When i got my first car mum and dad paid, but i paid them back, any work that needed doing i did myself or had to pay for. I am a big believer that kids should have to pay for their own stuff, they respect it more when its there own hard earned that pays for repairs when they bust it. To many of the kids i went to school with trashed their cars because mum and dad would just buy them another one. Failing that, make her pay the excess and then use the insurance payout to pay for the replacement. There isnt much you can do, as a teacher as well as a parent, many kids lie because they dont want to dissapoint you or more so they dont want to get into trouble, they learn these lessons, but sometimes its the hard way. I am yet to face all this with Marcos, and its a while away, but marcos' first car will be some form of a land rover that we have bought and he has helped restore or rebuild in the years leading up to him getting a licence.

Good luck with it DD. Matt