Thread: What have idiots done to you, what have you done back.

A farmer was having problems with some local youths stealing petrol from him all the time (I can not figure out why he never put a lock on it). He knew who they were but could never catch them in the act.
He decided to bury a couple of planks full of nails so the nails just stuck out of the dirt. So while the misfits were filling with fuel, all four tires were losing air, hence one tank of petrol and 4 flats.
Well the youths left to find some help. Buy the time they returned their ute was gone.
The story goes that the farmer had a big hole dug, and dragged the ute into it, and filled it in with dirt. Never to be seen again.
Hence he never had fuel stolen from again.

HAHA yep BS for sure

great story though

BS, I don't Know about that, I know a couple of old time farmers that mean and nasty, and if the Plods turn up No Vehicle No evidence, fresh dug hole, "cow died, horse died" they won't dig it up

cheers

In the mid-70's Dalgety'sWharf at Teneriffe, Brisbane was the terminal for the Roll on- Roll off services to North Qld, Cape, Gulf, and PNG. One of the foreman stevedores, a "panno" as they were known, was loathed, detested, hated by the wharfies. This guy had got a new car, and mindful of vandalism because of his low standing, was parking it inside the wharf, in one of the sheds. The wharfies waited their chance and with the collusion of a couple of seamen, bunged the car on a ship just as the ramp was to be raised. The panno played up merry hell when he found his car missing at end of shift. As usual on the waterfront, no one knew, saw, or heard anything, everybody being in the toilets, amenities room, crib room, down the fork lift shed etc. The twist in the tail came when the car was found in Port Moresby, on board with no paperwork, and the shipping coy. demanded payment to return it.

Hey Crash, I wouldn't doubt it. I know of some cranky old buggers live out bush.

Here is just a few from my past.

A particularly stolid, chief stoker was once enrolled in the "Wanda Witch Club" while I was in the Navy. Don't exactly remember the circumstance now, but any oldies might remember the kids promotion of some soft drink or other, during the 70's. The chief had been riding us for a while, we were fed up, he was not a happy chiefy when he got his membership, but he did get off our backs.

A certain high profile Sydney radio personality was attending a cocktail party aboard HMAS Anzac. He had parked his flash motor car at his convenience. Close to the ships gangway. Right on top of a manhole cover over a set of mains water valves. We were filling the ships fresh water tanks at the time. Radio star was sent a message, "Please move vehicle". When I'm ready came the reply. Next message sent was move your Rolls Royce, or Shorty will move it with a forklift. Car got shifted quick smart, I got told off--- again! Always in the poo, only the depth that varies. Got 3 promotions in 9 yrs, 2 of them, back up to able seaman first class.

A few years back, a local publican, was more than a bit impolite to some of his female staff. I caused a ruckus, he invited me outside, the result? He ended up being banned by the court, from working in his own front bar.

Not long ago, new young officious local copper, wanted to give me a hard time, bad mistake, dressed him down in the main street, to the appluase of the local CFS Ladies Auxiliary. Seems he was not all that popular, don't know, don't go of the farm often. Went straight up to the local stationhouse, spoke to his sargeant, let him know a retired officer will not be spoken down to or harrassed, by a junior ranker. That sargeant now speaks very politely to me as well.

Shorty.

Got an absolute idiot yesterday. Picture this. Driving down the South Eastern Freeway in SA. Converging lanes from separated dual carriageway to the single lane, each way, Swanport Bridge. I am sitting up high enough in the Landy, to see the big red semi coming over the bridge, and something made me check my mirror, new silver jap sedan, indicator on to overtake me over a double white line on a blind left hand bend onto a bridge.
My responce? I pulled hard to the right in front of him, hit the brakes, then ducked back to the left again as he tried to "undertake" me instead. At least I didn't have to pull an idiot out of a wreck yesterday, I am so sick of doing that, it makes me shake these days to think of the pain some fools cause. It breaks my heart after 35 yrs of it, that people still don't think of their own and others safety.
Maybe I was wrong, but the white haired old fool could have ended up a hood ornament on a rig at 100 Kph.

Shorty.

PS, how do you roll a Landy? I find mine strangely stable, even getting the hang of her ever so elegant little drifts at 80Kph on our white rock roads.

Here's some tricks for the annoying one's in the office:

1. Replace mouse ball with same sized ball of blu-tac. Mouse weighs the same and when they look there's a grey ball there

2. On optic mouse, cover light area with a suitable piece of sticky tape that doesn't transmit the light through (post-it will also work, but is more obvious.

Originally Posted by dm_td5

Here's some tricks for the annoying one's in the office:

1. Replace mouse ball with same sized ball of blu-tac. Mouse weighs the same and when they look there's a grey ball there

2. On optic mouse, cover light area with a suitable piece of sticky tape that doesn't transmit the light through (post-it will also work, but is more obvious.

more office tricks:
I love this one.
Take a screen shot/dump of a PC desktop.
Save it as a pic file.
delete all the shortcuts on the desktop
use the pic as a background.

stand back and watch them freak out !
Done it a few times, it always works.
p.s. you need to auto hide the toolbar so they have no Start button.


I did once see someone put clingwrap over a toilet,( yes I know a bit old) but they were too pi$$ed and forgot then ended up soaking thier own jeans.

You can always fill the toilet bowl (and the bath tub) with a gelatin solution just before everyones has left the party. Host wakes up next afternoon to a rather solid jelly.

Or just paint the black toilet seat with a silver nitrate solution.