Master
SupporterWas talking with a friend who is a G.P. a while back, and he told me a story about his clinic. We laughed so hard we were crying in the end.
He was working seeing patients in his clinic, when in between patients, he got a call from his recepionist at the front desk. She said there was a very agitated man who needed to see a doctor immediatly. He looked very nervous, and was wearing a bulky coat, even though it was warm inside the clinic. He was even from the other side of town. Being in not the nicest neighborhood, they had become used to junkies looking for drugs from the doctors. He was disturbing the patients in the waiting room, so he told her to send him in, he will tell him that he won't be getting any drugs form him, and send him on his way.
In walked a nervous, agitated man, who was pale and sweaty. John proceded to start to tell him that he was not going to get any durgs from the clinic.
The man interrupted him and said "I'm not looking for any drugs, I've got my d#$! caught in my zipper"
Both stared at each other for a moment, when John asked "What do you want me to do about it"?
"Get it out" was the pleading reply.
John put on some gloves, and proceded to unzip his fly. Much to both people's relief there was no serious damage, and the man was very greatful. He is in fact now a patient of his clinic, and when he calls up to make an appointment, he says it's _______ the junkie from Sunbury.
It's good to have a sense of humor.
Cheers,
Ken
ForumSage
Friend's dad used to work A&E in Sydney.
They these two brothers who were regulars in there. The brothers were in their 50's and used to fight all the time. Worst incident was when one came in with a knife in his heart. They had to stitch as the knife was removed. All the guy said afterwards was thanks I'll get him for that.
They also had the box of wierd. It housed all the things removed from various locations in patients.
Moderator
Try this one for some funny to just silly.
Medical Humor...Weird Nursing Tales
2011 Discovery 4 TDV6
2009 DRZ400E Suzuki
1956 & 1961 P4 Rover (project)
1976 SS Torana (project - all cash donations or parts accepted)
2003 WK Holden Statesman
Departed
2000 Defender Extreme: Shrek (but only to son)
84 RR (Gone) 97 Tdi Disco (Gone)
98 Ducati 900SS Gone & Missed
Facta Non Verba
YarnMaster
Very funny link there Craig :P .
I had a muscular complaint in the inner thigh. The lady who performed the ultrasound will have a cracker of a story to tell for generations.
AT REST
Was in hospital, once, late at night 2 doctors and 2 nurses wheels in this bloke and puts him in the bed opposite, because it was dark (lights out) they never drew the curtains. Anyway this bloke had a belly that looked like it was about to burst, seems he was full of wind, but couldn't fart or burp. So the doctors decided to feed a rather large pipe up his Clacker to let out the wind, well they finally fed what seemed to be a metre or more of hose up where the sun dont shine, it took over half an hour with this bloke moaning and groaning all the time.
They rolled him back onto his back and laid this end of the hose over the edge of the bed and told this fella that the wind would exit via the hose overnight and they would see him in the morning. Doctor called the nurse over to clean up and tuck him in for the night. This nurse seemed to be put out as she was having a coffee break, anyway she's flitting around the bed picking up gloves and what not, she throws the blankets and sheets over this poor bugga and walks around to the other side of the bed to clean up. Well she sees this bloody hose hanging down, so she grabs it and gives it a mighty TUG. I reckon everyone in the whole hospital heard the poor bloke scream, it looked like he jumped a foot or more off the bed. The doctor blew the crap out of the nurse and he stood over her while she re-inserted said hose where the sun dont shine, poor bugga, true story, would loved to had a video camera, Regards Frank.
Wizard
LOL. That would of been impressive Tank! Sure it really was someone else
Having worked in pathology in medical centres and hospitals I have a lot of good stories but for now I think I'll keep them to myself.lol.
Xav
AT REST
YarnMaster
some A grade material you found there tex
Swaggie
A rellie was the Bush Nurse at Windorah back in the early sixties. A man came in from a droving plant and mob of cattle on the stock route with severe toothache. She said he had a badly deteriorated molar that must have been giving him real stick. The boss drover had picked up a mob of store cattle somewhere out on the NT border out from Boulia and came down the Georgina stock routes heading for Bulloo Downs when the drover developed the toothache. No towns or dentists anywhere out there and the pain must have been really something because he was treating it by dripping battery acid from the cook's truck onto the tooth with an eye dropper. She said the surrounding gum tissue was badly acid burnt.
URSUSMAJOR
YarnMaster
avtually, heres one for you..... heard about 5th hand by the time i heard it, then i ran into the actual ambo's brother
000 call came through asking for an ambulance, then hung up, so one was sent, assuming there was some kind of emergency and the phone had been disconnected
ambulance rocks up, ambo's knock on the door, couple of minutes later this guy sticks his head out, looks sheepishly at the ambo's, mumbles "thanks dude" and shuts the door.....
ambo's share a WTF? moment, knock on the door and ask if everythings fine
"yea dudes, alls good" and shuts the door again
ambos bash on the door, open it and ask "whats the emergency mate, you dialled 000, so whats the emergency"
"umm...... ive been hitting the bong for about 3 days man...... i couldnt find the f*****g door, so i figured if i phoned for an ambulance, someone would knock"
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