Originally Posted by dobbo
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Apologies in advance.............I/ we do have 2 cats, Scarry (SWMBO'ds) sounds like she is as hairy as Dobbos pussy, cool cat, user friendly, just kicks on outside. Duke the Bengal, I dream sometimes of how I can dispose of him as he drives me stark raving nuts...you have to hear what a Bengal sounds like to understand, very demanding, pain in the arses but the kids love him. Give me my German Shepherd Max any day of the week. So being a dog lover:
Why are dead cats fatter than live cats?
The live cats are the ones that can run faster than dogs.
Why was nearsightedness fatal for the dead cat?
He thought he was climbing onto an ottoman, and it turned out to be a sleeping Saint Bernard.
Why do we know there are a lot of dead cats in hell?
Because you aren't allowed to lick your hind end in heaven.
Why do so many dead cats have four broken legs?
That's what happens when you fall out of a hundred-foot tree, and land on your feet.
How do you know which cats have had near-death experiences?
They're the ones that have short tails, with a dog's teeth marks at the end.
When do you know that a cat has been dead for an hour or more?
When he doesn't have any saliva on his anus.
What were the last words heard by the dead cat?
"Look, Mama, that kitty is going into the doghouse."
Why do most cats die in the morning?
Because most dogs sleep in the afternoon.
What was the practical joke that the dogs played on the dead cat on a windy day?
They put vodka in his milk, then chased him up an aspen tree.
Why do cats get fatigued when they commit suicide?
Because they have to do it nine times.
Why was the dead cat found with a charred tail, in the breakfast nook?
He didn't realize he could get his tail caught in the toaster.
Regards
Stevo
Awww man if they only had a knee slapping icon as well...Pure Gold........Mastercard Moment.........Brilliant.......Priceless....Onya Dobbo. Here's another post that has nothing to do with the thread ( amongst the 40% that also had nothing to do with the thread). Knock Knock........Who Is it...........Pot.........Pot Who
. Don't expect to get serious responses when you use snicker, snicker words like hairy and bald pussy knowing full well the conotations. Out of interest, down at the vets today, had to get new tick collars for the dogs and stuff for our cats. Asked the vet how many people ring up about a sick, sore or hairy pussy. Guess what....they don't...........serious folk ring up about their cat. 
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