Thread: Egg my house - pay the price

I was discussing the other day, if you did the wrong thing to someone when you were a young fella, you would get your ass kicked, or the local sergeant (or provos depending where you're from) would almost literally tear you a new one.......but that's another story.....

At 18:00 yesterday, I was sitting at my desk, when I saw two "youths" about 15yo across the road.
(I mean youths as in the type you see on the news, generally being assisted into the back of a police car!)

Anyway, one had a carton of eggs. They stopped and proceeded to 'egg' my house! They obviously couldn't see me, as I was sitting at my desk, looking straight at them, and they proceeded down the road. The next few houses they gave a miss because there were obviously people there, and went the next house.

" this" I said, and got in the car, went around the block, so I would be approaching them from the opposite direction.
They happened to be walking through the car park of the local pool, eggs still in hand.
I parked the car, walked calmly up to them and said, "are they eggs?"
"Yerrrr" they responded with attitude aplenty.
I then proceeded to grab the eggs and carton and redecorate their hair and shirts with a lovely "yoke n shell" pattern.
I proceeded to advise them, if they ever did anything like that to my house, or any house in the area again, they would be in a worse state than the egg shells on the ground.
I called the local cops and one threw a stick at me, then tried to take off. So, i grab offender 2 in a head lock, and at the same time, I was explaining the matter to the local constabulary on the phone, who said they would send a car around (must've been a slow day).
I end the call and offender 1 is screaming "that's assault, I'm calling the cops!" I said too late, already did ya DH, and I advised him & his mate, (let's call him offender 1), if he didn't come back here, his mate was in for a shellacking & I would beat his address of his mate (which I wouldnt) and they'd both find out exactly what assault was and how it felt

"Cmon cuz" come back, offender 2 was welping and his heart rate was about 300 bpm.
(I did whisper to him that no one was going to get hurt, I just wanted his mate to come back).

Cue, the concerned citizens!

At this point, a few people had started coming over, one being an overly concerned "wednesday tennis lady" type.
She proceeded to tell everyone (about 4 people), that I was assaulting these poor young fellas, and she hadn't seen them do anything.
I thanked her for her concern, told the crowd what had happened, and asked does she see many men in suits randomly assault young fellas around here.
I assured her they weren't in any danger, we were just getting better acquainted, and the police were on their way.
At this stage, a fella in his running gear comes over to lend a hand. Just so happens he is a district police inspector from the area.
He tells "tennis lady" thanks and step off, asks me what happened, and told the "youths" to sit down over on the grass and shut up.

After getting my story, he immediately gets attitude, and whole load of "sod off - we didnt do nuffin -we're outta here" from the lads.
After telling them they can DNA test the eggs , they cough up their "confession".
Police car comes, takes their details, informs them that someone from juvenile aid bureau will be having a chat to them and hop in the car, lets go talk to Mum & Dad. Now they're starting to apologise and quiver...
Cops thank me, and said they'll get the stern talking to thing, and the wind put fair up em.
I said that's great, didnt want to hurt them or get them into strife, just explain what they shouldn't do, and wanted to set em straight and give em a fright.
Job Done & a good laugh in the process

Mate, well done, I think it is high time people took a stand. A cuppla yrs ago was on a train over in Perth. Little turd comes on and starts hassling this smaller kid, my ex at the time could see I was getting worked up. Then this brat hacks up a big golley and spits it on the seat. Thats it, I saw red, stood up, walked over to him and screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU...A ****ING ANIMAL" right in his face. "NOW CLEAN IT UP BEFORE I MAKE YOU"........he almost **** himself and started using his t-shirt. Got a round of applause from the rest of the train and at the next stop told him to get the F off the train, he started whimpering...too late.

No doubt some of the namby pambies will have a different perspective but so be it, top work mate,

Regards

Stevo