Thread: We are three wise men

...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... "skip a bit, brother"... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

Originally Posted by cooper

'' Ugh! Breakaway.''(Now then,which of you knows what this is?)It is relevant to the above quote.I will be impressed.

Idle, Drury Lane and Chocolate Biscuits

Are you the Judian Peoples front?


and heres a link the peoples front of judiah | Facebook

Ahh but i'm a member of

the peoples front of judiah | Facebook

FRANCIS:
Yeah. I think Judith's point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--
STAN:
Or woman.
FRANCIS:
Or woman... to rid himself--
STAN:
Or herself.
FRANCIS:
Or herself.
REG:
Agreed.
FRANCIS:
Thank you, brother.
STAN:
Or sister.
FRANCIS:
Or sister. Where was I?
REG:
I think you'd finished.
FRANCIS:
Oh. Right.
REG:
Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--
STAN:
Or woman.
REG:
Why don't you shut up about women, Stan. You're putting us off.
STAN:
Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS:
Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN:
I want to be one.
REG:
What?
STAN:
I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.
REG:
What?!
LORETTA:
It's my right as a man.
JUDITH:
Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
LORETTA:
I want to have babies.
REG:
You want to have babies?!
LORETTA:
It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG:
But... you can't have babies.
LORETTA:
Don't you oppress me.
REG:
I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!
LORETTA:
[cries]
JUDITH:
Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the right to have babies.
FRANCIS:
Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.
REG:
What's the point?
FRANCIS:
What?
REG:
What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!
FRANCIS:
It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG:
Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

The Holy Grail is an awesome movie!

I have seen that movie many a time! my entire family is a python fan! we love it! we had a family dinner the other night and had it on in the background

Originally Posted by Tombie2

Are you the Judian Peoples front?


and heres a link the peoples front of judiah | Facebook

Splitters!

Originally Posted by justinc

And my favourite, 'Constitutional peasants'

"...Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a form of government. Supreme executive power is derived from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony! Look, If I went round saying I was Emperor cause some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"
et al.

AND then there's the Holy grail castle rampart sketch

"...Go and boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries..."


These guys are unbeaten in their ability to come up with the most amazing stuff!


Somebody STOP me


JC

OK ..from memory....

Old woman, what knight lives in that castle ?
Man...
What ?
Man, sorry ...
I'm 37
What
I'm 37, I'm not old...
Well I can't just call you man
You could say Dennis
But I didn't know you were called Dennis
You didn't bother to ask
... ooohh Dennis there's some lovely filth down here......
Please sir, who is you Lord ?
We don't have a lord. we're living in a narco cycniclist commune. We take it turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week but all decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of general matters and a 2 thirds majority ...
Shut up...
Who does he think he is anyway...
I am Arthur, King of the Britains and I demand to know who lives in that castle ?
King of the who ?
The Britains
Who are the Britains ?
We are all Britains and I am your King !
Well I didn't vote for you
You don't vote for King
Well how do you become king then......
The lady of the lake, her arm clad in the purist shimmering samite held aloft from the bosom of the water Excalibur, signifying by divine providence that I Arthur would be King .....


Something like that anyway