Irrespective of the tow bar ball weight, you cannot go greater than the designed ball weight of the chassis.  As you have indicated this is 175kg (recommended or not it is still 175kg).  You have an accident with a ball weight greater than that ,your insurance will not be worth a lot.
You said the dealer said the ballweight is 175 but what does the handbook say?
Also if you want to tow 3500kg you are at the margins for most of the larger 4wds - yes they will pull but awfully slowly - if you are going to tow 3500kg regularly I would be looking at something bigger than one of the mainstream large 4wds.
Garry
				
			 
			
		 
			
				
			
			
				REMLR 243
2007 Range Rover Sport TDV6
1977 FC 101 
1976 Jaguar XJ12C
1973 Haflinger AP700
1971 Jaguar V12 E-Type Series 3 Roadster
1957 Series 1 88"
1957 Series 1 88" Station Wagon
			
			
		 
	
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