Thread: Embarrassment

Thanks everyone i'm off for a shower then bed. . . . . .See if i can get some sleep.. & Fatty to i doubt we will get much sleep . . . .

Well hi everyone its not much better still .We atleast aren't yelling at each other..I will give use all some history to this time in our relationship..
Karen & i have never been the type to do the kissy cuddle hold hands thing i like that but Karen has never & i don't mind as we where having sex regualy every 2 day which made up for all that so was good..Now i know how much Karen does for me & i know i can do much more for myself instead of just getting Karen to get it..Which is lazy of me..Well about 4 to 5 weeks ago this all changed big time down to once a week if lucky its also the time fred started to crap on again so we have been streesed from that.. Well we get to this point often as i never keep up with going out because Karen says yeah i'l lget it Now i cant get the things from to far but i can get to Cardiff easy but i always giveup..Well since the sex died i have resented Karen cause we now dont have any closness at all & she would say something & i would grunt & the Karen retalyates so & so forth between the 2 of us..Well i have put Karen through so much strees & **** over 23 years its not funny & this last biggy is my fault as i have just not tryed enough or kept going with it there for Karen has to take up all the slack which is to much. Now in the last 4 weeks Karen & i have spent maybe 40 mins together cause of the kids + ashley is always here when the kids are at school. so there is no our time at all. Well Karen has been getting some tattoos & last night we where talking & she said i have to tell you something & you are going to hate me ( i was very scared) but it had to be said she is having some feelings for her tattooist in the sense that she wants to be with him & they are strong for her . She said he makes her laugh & happy. He is a gentlman in all respects the same as me every thing is the same as me only he doesn't have a problem & could give her more.. She now feels like an idiot but i told her no she isn't & there is noway on this earth i could hate her ever because she has done so much for me.I have said maybe she should confront him about it but she wont as he is married with a sick child . . I realy do not know what to say to her ..I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS SCEARED IN MY INTIRE LIFE EVER i love Karen so much its not funny & now i have caused all this..I have no one to blame but myself for this & it is in noway for me to blame Karen at all...
I tryed to little to late i went out with her today to the tool shop to get a nutsert tool then went over to some shops in a busy area autobarn & the good guys all at warners bay ..I then went to pickup our pamphlets & was actualy talking to the boss guy for nearly an hour then decided to go for a drive ended up going to the top of lake road & down to glendale & back home ..Again to little to late..
I am very sceared so is Karen & i will fight tooth & nail to win her love & trust back..
We had some trouble some time back & nearly broakup then & it nearly killed the kids so we are worried about them aswell. & have just found out fred is having her bad dreams again & drempt that she found me hanging from a rope in the little shed..

Now i realy realy am scared to the point where my chest has gone very numb like a doosy panic attack is about to start regualy..
I have made things worse because i keep telling her i love her so much its not funny & she feels so bad because she has had these feelings for someone else . . . .
Also just ran Karen down the road to get tea bags & cough lollies.. Again to little to late....




I will be making more of an effort to go out & do as much as i posably can to win Karens love back & trust so i am asking use all to give me a hand & a kick up the ass to get moving when needed ..


PS AUS i will be calling at your house one day but i wont be stopping i need a couple of dry runs then i will stop say G'day & probably leave straight away , So could you explain to Mrs Aus what is happening so she dont think i am to sico or something for when it does happen..

I realy enjoyed myself today & loved to see Karen smile while up talking to her boss....

I pretty much stick to cardiff but i will get to glendale again as i used to do that quiet a bit & would stop there for quiet awhile to so i need to do this bigtime & keep it up..
I do know i will have bad days but i will just have to suck it up...