Thread: Embarrassment

Well was talking to Karen earlier & it looks like i wont be going home or atleast for months so i wont see any of them for that long or maybe never..I doubt i will last to long here i miss my kids to much..
Theres nothing to do as all my tools & everything else is at Karens .I cant go anywhere cause i just panic & i was doing so well when i had all of them to do it for & i was going to get some help when Karen was better so i wouldn't let her down now i have nothing, plus i dont have any money ..I want to leave any money & our payments alone so Karen & the kids can stay in the house....




It hurts so much to know i am going to die lonely because of my problem i cant see Karen or the kids i will never be with another woman..

**** i cant even eat & when i do i can only cook meat theres no stove i just got this small electric grill.....
I'm using there WEACO fridge & there ****ed at that so it wont be long before that goes .....


So i just keep living in my little room . . .

Hi Banjo

I dont know you from a bar of soap but you are obviously in a painful place. I see that you mention OCD and panic attacks so I assume you have had those looked at professionally and at least have tried medication and other therapy?
If not then you really need to follow that up now through your GP or local community health service. But otherwise Like the previous post from Discomick-you are going through a massive life change with huge amounts of loss and grief and an uncertain outcome. At the same time you are looking at how what you have done has hurt others..it can be pretty hard to look at the bloke in the mirror sometimes hey! Of course that is sooooo painful to acknowledge and to process in a healthy way.....so....again if you have already got professional help from a mental health point of view than I would encourage you to

stay in touch with GP anyone involved with management of your OCD etc
stay in touch with friends and do stuff you like
get in touch with a grief counsellor asap (different kettle of fish to psych's altogether)
eat well
exercise
keep posting here
did I mention eat well and exercise?

all the best Banjo

Good advice there, Linds, I certainly hope Banjo follows through on it!!!!!

Banjo, there is a total health program, the best health program on the market, a program called "Newstart" and I am going to give you this health program totally free, it will not cost you a extra cent. It works very well, and it is totally free--No one will make a cent from you doing this health program--it is not a money making program, and this program will give you a "NEW START" physically, which will help you mentally because you will feel so good about yourself.


N is for Nutritian--so eat well. "Junk in Junk out," so watch what what you eat, and eat well--fruit/vegies, etc.
E is for Exercise--so go for a daily walk, or swim or paddle a kayak/ski.
W is for Water. Drink plenty of fresh rain water to flush toxins out of your body.
S is for Sunshine--we need some as it, as it converts Cholesterol to vitamin D, etc., and makes you feel good.
T is for Temperance-- do not use harmful substances.
A is for Air that is fresh and invigorating--breathe deeply.
R is for Rest--Get a good nights sleep to rejunivinate the System, in bed asleep before 10.00PM is best.
T is for Trust in divine Power--Learn to hand over your troubles to God in prayer, and trust him.

I'm still being posotive today has probably been my best yet & i am hoping with the time away & the space Karen is getting i mite be able to go back home & be with the kids for the hols & Karen of corse...




Got bore today so i got out my tattoo gear done one on my lest hand on top bloody hurts like hell when you hit bones & me being small skinny i hit the bones nearly the whole time ..I will put some pics up later of my phone there not the best but you can see what it is....


I have to go upto the tobacco shop to get some pipe cleaners to clean my tips , Then i can use them again.....

Originally Posted by Linds

Hi Banjo

I dont know you from a bar of soap but you are obviously in a painful place. I see that you mention OCD and panic attacks so I assume you have had those looked at professionally and at least have tried medication and other therapy?
If not then you really need to follow that up now through your GP or local community health service. But otherwise Like the previous post from Discomick-you are going through a massive life change with huge amounts of loss and grief and an uncertain outcome. At the same time you are looking at how what you have done has hurt others..it can be pretty hard to look at the bloke in the mirror sometimes hey! Of course that is sooooo painful to acknowledge and to process in a healthy way.....so....again if you have already got professional help from a mental health point of view than I would encourage you to

stay in touch with GP anyone involved with management of your OCD etc
stay in touch with friends and do stuff you like
get in touch with a grief counsellor asap (different kettle of fish to psych's altogether)
eat well
exercise
keep posting here
did I mention eat well and exercise?

all the best Banjo

I want to get some more help when i get home as thats where my gp is & i would like to help Karen get better first then we can arrange some help for me ..I told Karen i would if she gives me a hand with it after she is better...

Originally Posted by Ausfree

Good advice there, Linds, I certainly hope Banjo follows through on it!!!!!

Hello stranger ...dont leave it so long to post .....

Here you go the pics aren't real good from my phone....


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