Update: battery now known to be dead. How a battery goes from strong to dead in 1 week I don't know.
Hooked 12v to starter terminal, earthed to inside of crossmember, alarm dash light flickered, put the EKA code in, dash light flicker tempo changed to fast, pressed the key fob a few times and heard the central locking trying to work, took a few goes for it to open (note - key did not open door).
Popped bonnet, only getting 4V across the battery. Put in spare battery and she fired up.
Note to self: try to have long battery cable, 13m spanner and set of vice grips to clamp to chassis in accompanying vehicle in case of battery failure!


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