Thread: good dad or bad dad

I see nothing unusual in that, that sort of independence was taught to members of both Cubs and Brownies during the 50's & 60's for which they gained badges, we as a society seem to be following the US model of "helicopter" parents and not allowing our childern to gain confidence/independence

cheers

I don't have kids (yet), but in my opinion, for what it's worth, I think that's excellent parenting!

Good for you... It seems to be lost on many that this style of thing was the norm when I was younger, my elder sister ,brother and me had to do the same, just as every kid we knew did.

The fact that your wife and you have that trust in your kids ( and have brought them up to be as independant as they are ) tells me that they have a good and happy home life, something that doesn't seem to be to common these days. I used to listen to some our daughter's friends talk about their homelife ( or lack there of ) and feel lucky that we had the respect of our kids, and still do now they are young adults.

Sadly todays society seems to steer kids to sit in front of the TV or computer and away from doing what kids of earlier years did.

I do understand that not everyone will agree with your approach, but from my eye's it certainly dont make you bad parents.

Cheers Ean

well everyone needs to bring their kids up as they see fit. personally i believe that giving your kids small amounts of responsibilities at a young age and increasing the amount they do to be a good thing, it teaches them that they have to work for a reward or goal and cant just expect that everything is going to fall into their lap. there are far too many kids these days that just throw tantrums until they get what they want. as for dropping them off at the movies well it all depends where you dropped them off, IMO, if for instance you dropped them on the roadside out the front of a major shopping center there's an element of danger in that in my mind but if you took them to the cinema i don't see the problem. my sis and i were both brought up being treated as adults being able to make our own decisions and cop the consequences of those decisions from an early age and was normal for us to be home alone from the age of 10. no one can say if your a good or bad dad for how you bring up your kids without knowing all the circumstances surrounding them and not knowing your kids, the fact that you asked for opinions because you are wondering if you are doing the right thing says to me that you're on the right track.

It is Ok with me Kelvin but I am not so sure about leave them alone in the shopping centre. No because I will not trust them but because there are to many bastards in the streets today
My brother and I used the take the tram alone when I was 7 and my brother 8 but that was back in 1953, times have changed now for the worse.
The Daniel's case come to my mind

Sound OK to me, Kelvin.

Re Chucao's comment, I'm not convinced there are more baddies than in earlier years.

it all comes down to a case by case, how mature are your kids, how honest and trustworthy are they, what kind of city/suburb/town do you live in, is there other people in the community that know them.
I have grown getting pretty much everything done for me, and now I am 20 the youngest of 3 and my brothers and I are still trying for our mum to stop, but that is another story... a very long story.
I think the way you are raising your kids is great, they will be much better for it later, and you too

Sounds alright to me as well.

I try to make sure my two boys (9 and 11) are independent and can do things for themselves as well.

Not so much getting themselves to school etc as it is too far away, but they are expected to take responsibility and help around the house without complaining, do things when they are asked etc and they do.

Come high school age I see no issues with them having to catch trains or buses to and from school and sport.

From the start of year 8 through to year 12 to get to school I would;

1. Ride 3km to the train station
2. Catch first train for around 45min
3. Catch second train for another 30min or so
4. Then walk to school

I used to do this on weekends for sport, 5am in the morning to get to training and would spend entire days riding around on my bike all over the place, would leave after breakfast and come home for dinner.

And I am not talking about 20 - 30 years ago, I was doing this from 1996 - 2000, prior to that we where on the farm so I would spend my days and spare time in the paddocks mucking around.