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Thread: I don't understand my wife!

  1. 7th August 2015, 07:22 AM #91
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    I understand my wife perfectly.

    I understand that in an argument, she's always right.
    I understand that if she's unhappy about something, then I'm expected to be unhappy as well.
    I understand that any amorous activities will only be undertaken on her terms and at her discretion.
    I understand that sometimes she needs to go out with some of her girlfriends to unwind over dinner and a few drinks.
    I understand that if I go out with my mates to unwind for dinner and a few drinks I will be in the poo (unless I have spent the appropriate number of days before hand pleading for a leave pass)
    I understand that when she criticises me about something, it is constructive and aimed at making me a better person.
    I understand that when I criticise her about something, I am just being an arsehole.

    I understand if she reads this post, I will be in the dog house for weeks!
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  2. 7th August 2015, 05:04 PM #92
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    A husband & wife are getting dressed to go out for the evening.
    The wife looks in the mirror then turns to hubby and says
    "my bum looks too big, I have celluloid, my arms are getting flabby, my dress makes me look frumpy........for goodness sake pay me a compliment"
    Husband replies " your eyesight is absolutely perfect".

    When he came to he was in the Casualty Department of the local Hospital.


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  3. 7th August 2015, 05:07 PM #93
    trog
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    just say nothing and nod
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  4. 7th August 2015, 07:16 PM #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by trog View Post
    just say nothing and nod
    Or be like Loneranger and when asked whether you're looking like you've put on a little weight, turns around and says, "yes... well you wanted an honest answer".

    True though - I did want an honest answer. If you can't be honest what's the point? We know when you're lying!!!
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  5. 7th August 2015, 07:17 PM #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pocket Rocket View Post
    Or be like Loneranger and when asked whether you're looking like you've put on a little weight, turns around and says, "yes... well you wanted an honest answer".

    True though - I did want an honest answer. If you can't be honest what's the point? We know when you're lying!!!
    I like to live dangerously .
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  6. 7th August 2015, 08:10 PM #96
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    Living dangerously is more exciting

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  7. 7th August 2015, 09:25 PM #97
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    I like to live.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  8. 7th August 2015, 09:31 PM #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by cuppabillytea View Post
    I like to live.
    Wus!!

    hehehe
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  9. 7th August 2015, 09:45 PM #99
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    I have to find a way of sleeping in the 90 more comfortably.


    Living dangerously is great, until I get sent to the 90 for the night.


    Of course I am kidding. We have two spare bedrooms for me to choose from...
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  10. 7th August 2015, 09:50 PM #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orkney 90 View Post
    I have to find a way of sleeping in the 90 more comfortably.


    Living dangerously is great, until I get sent to the 90 for the night.


    Of course I am kidding. We have two spare bedrooms for me to choose from...
    I have only two words for you.
    1. Swag.
    2. Roof rack.

    Wise words mate, wise words. Ha Ha.
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