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Thread: Dealing with a stalker - Suggestions

  1. #1
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    Dealing with a stalker - Suggestions

    We've had an issue with someone this year who we thought was a friend going beyond the boundaries of decent behaviour. To deal with it we removed the person from our life and to protect others from being targeted have socially isolated ourselves from all groups this person and ourselves were mutually involved in.

    For the last 2 months we have been lying relatively low and keeping a low profile on social media so as to make ourselves invisible. We also removed a lot of mutual friends from our Facebook accounts to lower our profile.

    However, the person who was the victim in all this as had a lot of their friends turned against them and in the last week the perpetrator turned up at one of the victims friends houses uninvited. They then invited the friend out to go 4wding with them. Luckily the friend is aware of the goings on and turned them down.

    The weekend before this we provided assistance to this friend when their vehicle broke down. Otherwise we haven't been in public and both their and our vehicles are fairly distinctive. We believe we may have been seen as this friend and the perp live in the same suburb and we followed them home to make sure everything was fine.

    We've advised the victim to start keeping records of all attempts the perp makes to contact any of their friends in case we need to go down the path of a restraining order.

    Does anyone have any other suggestions or ideas on dealing with this as we know a restraining order isn't generally worth the paper it is written on until after the fact.

    I'll point out there is a considerable age gap between the perp and the victim and due to the size difference if the perp wanted to try anything the victim would be unlikely to be able to stop it.

  2. #2
    Tombie Guest
    Louisville Slugger often sorts it...
    Can't walk, Can't stalk...

  3. #3
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    Suggest you formally notify the police as soon as you can.
    Even if they don't do anything immediately, having lodged a formal complaint will get it in their system so if push comes to shove you have that on your side.
    That's my responsible answer.
    Irresponsible answer is double tap, bury deep, tell no-one.

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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tombie View Post
    Louisville Slugger often sorts it...
    Can't walk, Can't stalk...
    I've worked in a prison. No desire to inhabit one.

  5. #5
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    Having been a victim of it years ago, just realise that stalking is often the precursor to other things if not nipped in the bud. Whatever you decide, do it soon - legal or otherwise....

  6. #6
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    You may need to have some hard documented conversations/communications with the perp

    You may need to speak to the police and gain advice.
    Cheers
    Slunnie


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  7. #7
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    Agree with Slunnie. Ask the cops for advice. We had one not long ago. Turned out the cops knew all about him. They went around and made it clear what was and was not acceptable behavior.

    It's scary because you can feel powerless.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrapocalypse View Post
    Agree with Slunnie. Ask the cops for advice. We had one not long ago. Turned out the cops knew all about him. They went around and made it clear what was and was not acceptable behavior.

    It's scary because you can feel powerless.
    We're working on the person being victimised to try and get them to the point of at least having a conversation with the police. They're coming round to the idea so hopefully on Saturday we can go down the local cop shop for a chat.

  9. #9
    DiscoMick Guest
    Yep, as others have said, talk to the cops and put it on the record. Restraining orders put the onus on the person to toe the line, so if they step over it the process is already in place for a quick and firm response. And don't make any threats yourself - thats provocation and just gives the perp an excuse to respond.

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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoMick View Post
    Yep, as others have said, talk to the cops and put it on the record. Restraining orders put the onus on the person to toe the line, so if they step over it the process is already in place for a quick and firm response. And don't make any threats yourself - thats provocation and just gives the perp an excuse to respond.

    Sent from my SM-G900I using AULRO mobile app
    I have no intention of speaking to the person involved. Its better for all that way

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