Jokes

What happened to the password Cartoon ?

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Originally Posted by p38arover

Gawd! That's two of you on here who are in MM car clubs. Scouse is the other.

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Uhhh...................three. :angel:

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Originally Posted by bigcarle https://www.aulro.com/afvb/images/im...016/08/768.jpg
hi dave
can i steal that last joke for a Morris minor car club magazine please? do i acknowledge the forum or you for it?

Gawd! That's two of you on here who are in MM car clubs. Scouse is the other.

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Uhhh...................three. :angel:

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coool i have been practicing with a Facebook page for Morris Minors (even though i have a Marina :o:wasntme:)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/170118929777667/

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Originally Posted by p38arover

Gawd! That's two of you on here who are in MM car clubs. Scouse is the other.

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Three!

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Originally Posted by p38arover

Gawd! That's two of you on here who are in MM car clubs. Scouse is the other.

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Originally Posted by V8Ian

Uhhh...................three. :angel:

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Originally Posted by bigcarle

coool i have been practicing with a Facebook page for Morris Minors (even though i have a Marina :o:wasntme:)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/170118929777667/

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Originally Posted by rfurzer

Three!

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Four??



Damn, I thought I was amongst semi-normal people here :(.
Maybe we can hassle ask Inc for a new section ;).

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Originally Posted by Scouse

Four??



Damn, I thought I was amongst semi-normal people here :(.
Maybe we can hassle ask Inc for a new section ;).

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only if they are called "Lorris Rinors" so the AULRO still works :)

between a Morris Marina and a Morris Nomad i wanted my drive around car to be at least from the same country, if not loosely the same parent company many years ago, hence the Disco

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Originally Posted by digger

Boy, have I had a bad week!

It all started when my Ipod wouldn't work...
So I changed my IPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.:)

I've written some notes I had thought about this week... here they are..

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I was worried so I spoke to my local chemist, and he had a heart attack and died...I learnt this week that when chemists die, they barium.

I always wondered how does Moses make his tea? I assume Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

I went to the disco and this girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I truely believe that Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
This week I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

I decieded to go on tour, first, to America... but I had some questions.....
Why were the Indians in America first? (They had reservations.)
We are going on a class trip to the AMerican Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

On holidays I stopped shaving...I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Whilst away I heard about my daughters cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? She told me that when you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

I was a bad student I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

In England I learnt that they have no kidney bank, but I suppose it does have a Liverpool.

I was going to write some notes...then I realised Broken pencils are pointless.
I was bored so I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

I know stuff like, What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Whilst in NEW YORK, I learnt that all the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. whilst I was visiting the NYPD a cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I got a job at a haunted bakery because I kneaded dough. Let me tell you haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.

Sorry I got stuck on the bakery thing....Speaking of getting stuck,,,Velcro, what a rip off!

The earthquake last week in Washington obviously was the government's fault.


OK I must go,
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

Before I go I must say, Be kind to your dentist. Remember, He has fillings, too.

Cheers, feel free to add any of your thoughts...

Digger

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** copied from a thread in REMLR just to kick start this again! something in here should help! **

I went to buy my son a pet spider and when I got to the pet shop, they were $70. I thought,

'Bugger that, I can get one cheaper off the web!'

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me TitsBy Pam Ayres
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
>From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.