The I have read for some time
:D A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stops at a farm and begins talking with the old farmer.
He tells the farmer, 'I'm here to inspect your farm.'
The old farmer says, 'OK, but don't go in that field right over yonder.'
The Agriculture representative says, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Australian Government with me.
See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land.
No questions asked or answered.
Have I made myself clear? Do you understand!'
The farmer nods politely and goes back to his chores.
Later, the farmer hears loud screams and sees the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind is the farmer's huge prize bull.
The bull is gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step.
The Rep is clearly terrified and clearly not going to make it to the safety of the fence.
The old farmer slowly lays down his tools, walks over to the fence and shouts out.....
'Your badge! Your badge! Show him your badge!'
Hodgo:D
The I have read for some time
Subject: Surgery
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her
vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret
and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses
carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked
you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality
and that the first rose was from him:
"I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery
and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time
ago."
"And what about the third rose ?" she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you
for his new ears."
