Jokes

**4bee** · 25th August 2020, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by speleomike

Capt. Oates after following the fence for quite some time came across two guys in the wilderness ....
"Hey, where am I? I have been following this fence and I'm lost"

The two guys replied ..."Well we are lost also, we were hoping you might know where we are. We were following this fence southwards."

Capt. Oates replied: "Oh that's a bit of a bad luck if I may say so. I was hoping to get back to civilisation by following the fence north. Anyway I'm Oates, Captain Oates."

The two guys replied: "Well Jolly nice to meet you Capt Oates, I'm Burke and this is Wills."

Mike
PS. Maybe I should post this in the conspiracy thread :-)

I see Oates didn't use his given name, that of Titus.? There could have been a tad of schoolboy joviality with silly remarks around the camp fire like "Titus a fish's arse" That sort of joviality.

The two guys replied: "Well Jolly nice to meet you Capt Oates, I'm Burke and this is Wills."

"You see mate it was like this. We came across a tree that said "DIG" & so we did, until we fell into this ****ing great deep hole & well, 'ere we are.

Chuck us a jacket & a couple of Bundies mate, we are flamin' cold".

**spudfan** · 26th August 2020, 07:58 AM

Really enjoyed the last couple of pages. So here is a THANK YOU to all of the posts.
P.S. I have read Amundson's account and Scott's account of the journey to the pole, completely different approaches in how they commit their accounts to paper. If you get a chance read both.

**Eevo** · 26th August 2020, 11:46 PM

So I've suspected for some time that my girlfriend has been cheating on me.
The usual 'red flags', she turns her phone screen away when texting, always going out at night with "the girls", new underwear all the time etc..
I try to stay awake for when she comes home at night but I always fall asleep.
Anyway last night at around midnight i decided to hide under my truck. Shortly after, an unfamiliar car pulled up.
As my girlfriend got out she was buttoning up her shirt and slipped her panties on under her dress...
It was at that exact moment while laying under the truck that i looked up and noticed a small hairline crack in the rear shock mounting bracket!
Does anyone know if the whole bracket needs to be replaced or can i just weld it? And if so,does anyone have a welder I can borrow?

**Gav 110** · 27th August 2020, 07:36 AM

Did you hear about the dyslexic bloke who wanted to be a pimp

He ended up buying a warehouse

**Gav 110** · 27th August 2020, 07:38 AM

A couple of blokes who were playing chess decided that they would make the game more interesting

That stopped playing

**4bee** · 27th August 2020, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by Gav 110

Did you hear about the dyslexic bloke who wanted to be a pimp

He ended up buying a warehouse

Why would he wish to be a Pump? Was it a pump warehouse?

**4bee** · 27th August 2020, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by Eevo

So I've suspected for some time that my girlfriend has been cheating on me.
The usual 'red flags', she turns her phone screen away when texting, always going out at night with "the girls", new underwear all the time etc..
I try to stay awake for when she comes home at night but I always fall asleep.
Anyway last night at around midnight i decided to hide under my truck. Shortly after, an unfamiliar car pulled up.
As my girlfriend got out she was buttoning up her shirt and slipped her panties on under her dress...
It was at that exact moment while laying under the truck that i looked up and noticed a small hairline crack in the rear shock mounting bracket!
Does anyone know if the whole bracket needs to be replaced or can i just weld it? And if so,does anyone have a welder I can borrow?

So you went from a small problem to a much larger one?

**Gav 110** · 27th August 2020, 09:58 AM

Originally Posted by 4bee

Why would he wish to be a Pump? Was it a pump warehouse?

I didn’t know you were from the other side of the dutch 4bee

**4bee** · 27th August 2020, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by Gav 110

I didn’t know you were from the other side of the dutch 4bee

I can understand you thunking thut. Bob thought I was a Cockney. No, ( as pure as one can be) 100% Aussie.

**Gav 110** · 27th August 2020, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by 4bee

I can understand you thunking thut. Bob thought I was a Cockney. No, ( as pure as one can be) 100% Aussie.

Bob thought you had what hanging by your knee

100% Aussie???
Is that from the convict side, the toffee noses or just a mongrel breed like most of us🤣🤣

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