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An old nun and a young nun were driving and came to a stop at a red light. A hoon car with a loud v8 engine rumbling, pulled up beside them and the young driver with a mohawk haircut and rings through his nose, ears and lip was leering at the young nun. The old nun said to the young nun "show him you're cross dear" so she wound down the window and said " YOU **** off".
It was a blazing hot Saturday evening in the summer of ’57, and young Fred was all spruced up for his big date with the ever-charming Peggy Sue.
He slicked back his hair, polished his shoes to a mirror shine, and cruised over in his dad’s prized Chevy. When he rang the bell, Peggy Sue’s mother opened the door with a warm smile.
“Oh, come on in, honey! Peggy’s still getting ready,” she said sweetly. “Have a seat. Want something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?”
“Iced tea would be swell, ma’am,” Fred replied.
She brought him a glass and sat down like she had all the time in the world. “So,” she said with a grin, “what are you and Peggy planning for tonight?”
Fred shrugged, trying to sound cool. “Maybe a movie, a burger at the malt shop, then maybe a stroll down by the beach… real nice and easy.”
Peggy’s mom leaned in and said cheerfully,
“You know… Peggy loves to screw.”
Fred nearly choked on his iced tea.
“Uh… I—I beg your pardon?”
“Oh yes,” she continued, totally unfazed. “When she goes out with her friends, that’s all they do!”
Fred blinked.
“All night long, if we’d let her!” the mom added with a nod, as if she’d just said Peggy liked hopscotch.
Fred, now trying not to pass out, managed a polite, “Well… thanks for the heads-up…”
Just then, Peggy Sue floated down the stairs, picture-perfect in her pink blouse, hoop skirt, and a ponytail that bounced like it had its own personality.
“Hi, Fred!” she chirped, and off they went.
Half an hour later, the front door flew open and Peggy Sue stormed in, wind-blown, red-faced, and furious.
She glared into the kitchen and shouted,
“THE TWIST, MOM! THE DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!”
A blond walked into a vehicle workshop, the proprietor asked if he could help her, she answered "my car is running real rough, missing and coughing real bad". He said "we are quite busy at the moment, leave it with us for an hour and I will have a look at it". She went away and an hour later she returned, to be told " everything's ok just **** in the carby" Oh! she said "how often do I have to do that".
This and all the other accounts of alien contact, is why if I ever meet any aliens my first words to them are going to be, "Please don't probe me".Quote:
Originally Posted by Saitch
Me - I am good at running happily
Attachment 193225
I wonder if they have smooth music playing throughout the procedure?Quote:
Originally Posted by RANDLOVER
Something by P.J. Proby, perhaps? Like "What's Wrong With My World". [bighmmm]
Paddy was walking down the street when he saw his buddy Mick driving a brand-new Mercedes 🚗✨.
Mick pulled up with a big grin 😁.
Paddy asked, “Mick, where’d you get that car?”
Mick replied, “Sue gave it to me.”
Paddy looked shocked. “She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, lad… but a new Merc?” 😲
Mick said, “Well, let me tell you what happened…
We were driving on a country road at 6 in the morning 🌄, in the middle of nowhere. Sue suddenly pulled over, headed into the woods 🌲, parked the car, got out, threw off all her clothes 👗, and said,
‘Mick, take whatever you want.’” 😳
“So I took the car!” 😎🚘
Paddy nodded and said,
“You’re a smart man, Mick… them clothes would’ve never fit you anyway.” 😂👌
