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Thread: Jokes

  1. 4th June 2019, 04:44 PM #5141
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    Quote Originally Posted by 350RRC View Post
    Golf ban on Sundays actually happened and there are antique walking sticks that were clubs in disguise so you could still have a 'hit' without raising the ire of the local rev.

    DL
    Filed away for future use.
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  2. 4th June 2019, 06:22 PM #5142
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    Quote Originally Posted by spudfan View Post
    Filed away for future use.
    Was on Antique Roadshow.

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  3. 6th June 2019, 12:23 PM #5143
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    Why was the lebanese man crazy, because he was hommous-cidal .
    MY08 TDV6 SE D3- permagrin ooh yeah
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  4. 6th June 2019, 05:07 PM #5144
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    I once knew a couple who were both Archeologists.


    They recently separated.


    Apparently they both wanted to date other people.
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  5. 7th June 2019, 08:18 PM #5145
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    I accidentally took my cats medication.
    Don’t ask me - ow.
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  6. 7th June 2019, 08:38 PM #5146
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    GROAN!!!
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  7. 9th June 2019, 02:37 AM #5147
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    Last night my wife wore a police uniform to bed and said “ you are being charged with being good in bed “.
    Ninety seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
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  8. 9th June 2019, 07:28 AM #5148
    DiscoMick Guest
    A camper threw his backpack into his kayak and set off to paddle across a large lake to a campsite. Out in the middle the clouds closed in and it became icy cold. The shivering camper remembered he had a firelighting kit with heat beads in his backpack, so he lit a fire in his kayak. This was going well until the fire melted a hole in the bottom of the plastic kayak, which sank and he drowned.
    This proves you can't have your kayak and heat it too!
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  9. 9th June 2019, 09:53 AM #5149
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eevo View Post
    Last night my wife wore a police uniform to bed and said “ you are being charged with being good in bed “.
    Ninety seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

    You actually made it last 90 seconds?
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  10. 11th June 2019, 11:45 PM #5150
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    Not so much of a joke, more of a funny thing that happened, the other day I was talking to a bloke and he was chatting away merrily, next thing his mobile rang, but the ring tone was the Darth Vader tune from Stars Wars, a look of doom descended over his face and he said "Oh no that's the wife".
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