Thread: Jokes

Crows.jpg

Originally Posted by Saitch

Crows.jpg

So, how many do you need for a "murder of crows"?

Originally Posted by gavinwibrow

So, how many do you need for a "murder of crows"?

I reckon three, as you'd need a witness.

Originally Posted by Saitch

I reckon three, as you'd need a witness.

You had an opportunity, but Henry saw them off.

Originally Posted by 101RRS

Nope doesn't work in any browser or in new tabs - you have to sign up to twitter to view - looked at the youtube vid but fail to see what the excitement is.

Exactly ... !

Chief Wine Taster.
At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A retired Chief Petty Officer, drunk and with a ragged dirty look, came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away.
They gave him a glass of wine to taste.
The old Chief tried it and said, "It's a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable."
"That's correct," said the boss. "Another glass, please."
"It's a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results."
"Absolutely correct. A third glass."
''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive,'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The old Navy Chief tried it.


"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."

A body builder is someone who has thought to themselves, "I wonder what I'd look like inside out".

By the time a Navy pilot pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Marine pilot," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."


"No problem," the tired Navy pilot assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Navy Pilot came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better."

The manager was impressed. No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Navy pilot. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.


"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room, I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' ...and he sat up all night watching me."