Embarrassment

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Originally Posted by banjo

Maitland . .
& it is far a way for me ......


I have a series 3 so it takes me half an hour to get here from home up the freeway....

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Wow, I'm impressed, you have to drive past my place to get there!!!!:eek: Chalk that up as an achievement Banjo!!!!:D

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Originally Posted by schmierer LR at singleton

if u r still at ur parents during the holidays you are welcome to cum here for a couple of days and help out with the orchard or just feel like just getting away from city life and want to breathe clean natural air

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Hey Banj, Now THAT is a generous offer from Tony, it would give you a chance to get away and have a good think, and I'm sure Tony would be excellent company for you.!!!:) I mean you can talk Landies and everything, just imagine it, Landie heaven.:D

lol landy heaven, but seriously you have seen what it is like here a great get away

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Originally Posted by Quarks

Hey Banjo,

Missed a bit as I took my Scout Troop hiking on the weekend.

It sounds like you lot need all need to see each other again. ;)
Maybe if you all went out somewhere for Cody's birthday, it wouldn't be so hard as you'd all be going, just separate ways?

Why don't you sort out something, so perhaps once a week you do the mowing & other odd jobs and stuff that Karen wants done? I reckon that would give you a bit of regularity (something to aim for each week ;)), plus it would be helpful to her. Maybe too, it would help with getting used to you being away (but not completely isolated). And I'm sure you'd be too busy then to be getting in the way. :cool:

Yesterday marked 15 years since my father passed away (I was 6 at the time), and I have to say that is not something I'd wish upon anyone. I guess I have the reality that there's no chance of seeing him again. :(

:)

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If only it was that easy if i could do that i would be able to visit more people from here...


Not even alowed to talk to the kids now because apperntly i'm spying on Karen cause i ask the kids hows ya mum what have use been upto.....


SO I GUESS I'VE LOST EVERYTHING THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO ME ..

I wont see Cody for his bday this year or probably ever...
If i was able to turn up there i wouldn't want to leave & if they came here i wouldn't want them to go home......
So yeah i guess i've lost everything Karen doesn't even know if she loves me ..

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Originally Posted by JohnF

Banjo, if you could try travelling by train--and I know that may be hard for you, but it costs only 2.50 from Maitland to cardiff on a pensioner ticket.

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John, that is a good idea for somebody not prone to panic attacks, but remember Banjo suffers from Agrophobia and I think that would be a MAJOR challenge, that at this stage he could not do. But I tell you what, if we can talk Banjo into seeking assistance, that could be held up as a challenge for the far future!!!:D

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Originally Posted by banjo

If only it was that easy if i could do that i would be able to visit more people from here...


Not even alowed to talk to the kids now because apperntly i'm spying on Karen cause i ask the kids hows ya mum what have use been upto.....


SO I GUESS I'VE LOST EVERYTHING THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO ME ..

I wont see Cody for his bday this year or probably ever...
If i was able to turn up there i wouldn't want to leave & if they came here i wouldn't want them to go home......
So yeah i guess i've lost everything Karen doesn't even know if she loves me ..

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Why????????????????????????????????????????????? For God sakes Banjo, you are his father, you are entitled to see him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

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Originally Posted by banjo

So yeah i guess i've lost everything Karen doesn't even know if she loves me ..

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Guess what Jase, if you really believe you've lost everything, it means 2 things....

1) You've got nothing more to lose

2) You've got everything to gain! If something is lost, can't hurt to go looking again. But like all hunting expeditions, there is the right way, and the wrong way to go about it, hunt the wrong way and you'll scare the grand prize away, hunt the right way and things can be fantastic. Unfortunately, I think this one is going to be a bloody hard hunt, but, nothing to lose, so what the hell aye mate, give it a crack!

I've had a rough week or so, my grandma died this morning. It's been coming for a while, and in hindsight, I could have done a few things differently, spent more quality time with her, blah blah blah, being a misery guts won't help me or anyone though, I'm just gonna keep pushing on one step at a time. I was shocking this morning trying to inject patients at work, I got the first lady alright despite her having pretty diffficult veins, the next two were just disasterous - to the point I had 2 shots at the 3rd patient and realised there was nothing I could do about today, I wasn't in the headspace to deal with anything, so I went and asked for help, it made the difference knowing my colleagues were behind me being empathetic.

Anyway, stuff my situation, as I said, if you've got nothing more to lose, you've got everything to gain, so go get em tiger! My honest opinion about the best method of this hunt - help yourself first, YOU have to make YOU priority ONE!

How is my home town of Maito doing by the way? Full of bogans, but hell, I lived there 22 years and miss it like crazy some days. If you ever get down to Maitland Mall (the mall with KMart and all that, there is a book shop in the actually open mall part of it, just up from Westpac and St George Bank, called McDonald's Bookshop, pop in there one day for me and tell the old bloke who owns it that the Captain says hello, and give my greetings to Nancy (older lady in there) and Mel (younger lady). They'll know straight away who I am (The Captain)!

Onya Jason, keep on up the good work! :cool:

Seano

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Originally Posted by Ausfree

Why????????????????????????????????????????????? For God sakes Banjo, you are his father, you are entitled to see him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

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Not if it meens they have to watch me go through a panic attack to get there & then back again.. Plus i dont want them upset when i have to leave...

I have already stuffed there lives up & completly ****ed up Karen so i dont want to do that anymore so i would rather not see them so i dont or cant stuff them up anymore..

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Originally Posted by Ausfree

John, that is a good idea for somebody not prone to panic attacks, but remember Banjo suffers from Agrophobia and I think that would be a MAJOR challenge, that at this stage he could not do. But I tell you what, if we can talkBanjo into seeking assistance, that could be held up as a challenge for the far future!!!:D

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Thats never going to happen here i have nothing to gain from it .& it would take months & months if not even years to find a doc i trust & i cant do it on my own & theres no one here to help me . .. I would of got help back home for Karen & the kids so as to improove myself for them so i could enjoy doing more with them......

Weeelllll, Banjo, I got the answers I expected.:( Good luck!!!!:wallbash: