Embarrassment

**JohnF** · 8th March 2010, 01:06 PM

According to the books, Psychologically most ACoAs [Adult Children of Alcoholics] people want to merge and not be noticed, which is why Wendy joined a very small unnoticed alcoholic religious denomination of around 100,000 members world wide, where she could merge and not be noticed by the world. Most ACoAs people do have this deep psychological need to merge and not be noticed, which is why Banjo, who had an alcoholic dad was so brave to go public with his problems.

In 2002, over the phone I did tell Wendy I was going to write about her in a book, a book on the false beliefs of her small almost unknown religion, around 100,000 members world wide, a book that has not been yet published—may be down the track. In a panicky voice Wendy asked “what name are you going to use for me.” I replied “Wendy”, and she calmed down saying “that is okay, not many people know me by that name!” See Wendy/Margaret has changed her name more than once. I read the psychology books about ACoAs people, books that say they need to hide and merge into groups, well after this, and the books on ACoAs people do say they are very good at merging into large groups of people, so as NOT to be noticed.

Perhaps hiding away from the world by not going out is another way an ACoAs person may react, rather than merging so as not to be noticed as the majority of ACoAs people do. That is they fear to be noticed, just like once I feared rejection.

Thinking that she may be noticed and her deep secrets revealed is why Wendy panicked at that time I spoke to her on the phone. I am revealing Wendy’s deep secrets, but not revealing who she is, her current name/location to you, so you will never know if she is your next door neighbour [I admit that when I visited her house, a decade ago, I do not remember any Land Rovers next door, so it is very unlikely she is the neighbour of any Forum member]. So NOT wanting to be noticed is the first characteristic of ACoAs people, that I mentioned. Other ACoAs characteristics are to come.

**JohnF** · 8th March 2010, 01:33 PM

Do you know that one of the most common definitions of an Alcoholic is:--

One who drinks more than you do, no matter how much you drink.

Way too many ACoAs people become alcoholics themselves. After all, sadly that is how they were bought up. But many more ACoAs people refuse to drink alcohol as they have seen all the harm alcohol has done to their family, so they become strict Tee-totallers so as not to cause their Children to suffer like they did when growing up in an alcoholic home.

Wendy once said to me:-- “I will never marry someone who drinks alcohol.” But sadly Wendy joined that false very small denomination, who, ignoring the Bible, plainly teach:-- “It is not a sin to drink alcohol in moderation,” making countless thousands of their members into drunks, alcohol being far more addictive than heroin. If one goes onto Websites of that small denomination, they admit there is a terrible amount of alcoholism among the members of their congregations. But with this small denomination’s background, and teachings, that is not at all surprising.

In 1970 or 1971, I went to a party and drank, because a girl I liked drank [this was 2-3 years before I met Wendy]. I only had a few and was okay, not affected byalcohol, but there was something wrong with my VW's steering because it kept mounting the dividing hump in the middle of the road, as I drove home after that party. So I pulled up and had a sleep. Woke up a few hours later and drove home and the steering had fixed & corrected itself, now behaving as it should. This happened again the next two weekends.

After those 3 times I vowed never to be under the influence again, and never have been drunk again since. Rarely touched a drop since, and when I did only once or twice a year, and if so never more than one small glass.

I can do without, and have not drank for many years.

Life is way too short to spend some of your time sleeping it off, not counting physical harm to you and others that is caused by drinking alcohol.

**banjo** · 8th March 2010, 03:49 PM

Yep i would rather not be noticed or seen ..My panic attacks are very embaracing for me....Its been easier to hide away then to explain them & what i go through to people...Most just dont understand or want to for that matter...so its just easier to hide & think of some excuse..

**banjo** · 8th March 2010, 04:31 PM

Hows your day been AUS & SLEEPS ...mine hasnt been to bad sept workin on fatty's car.its temperarly fixed & we can start it without jumping it WOOOOHOOOO....

**V8Ian** · 8th March 2010, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by banjo

Hows your day been AUS & SLEEPS ...mine hasnt been to bad sept workin on fatty's car.its temperarly fixed & we can start it without jumping it WOOOOHOOOO....

How'd you fix it skinny?

**banjo** · 8th March 2010, 04:38 PM

I played with it .....LOL the voltage regulator that is & cleaned it all up..

**banjo** · 8th March 2010, 05:25 PM

Hey aus you cant just hire cars from the mob you work for can you, I got into an argument with an 18 year old today over it & i said na ya cant they only do limos & buses,god i hope i'm right..

**banjo** · 8th March 2010, 05:29 PM

The only news on the house as of today is its unofficially ours.The tenants are going in this week to sign the contracts on the house they got,we also looked at the same house but it wasnt suited to us .......So as soon as they do that we can sign the lease on there house..Apparently..

**Ausfree** · 8th March 2010, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by banjo

Hey aus you cant just hire cars from the mob you work for can you, I got into an argument with an 18 year old today over it & i said na ya cant they only do limos & buses,god i hope i'm right..

Yeah we have about eight hire cars in the fleet, (not the type you rent) but the taxi type where you ring up and book a car (same as a taxi) to take you somewhere. I will be in a hire car tomorrow doing local crap!!

**banjo** · 8th March 2010, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by Ausfree

Yeah we have about eight hire cars in the fleet, (not the type you rent) but the taxi type where you ring up and book a car (same as a taxi) to take you somewhere. I will be in a hire car tomorrow doing local crap!!

THANK god for that i would of hated having to tell the 18 yr old she was right...

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